tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-109826362024-03-07T18:34:18.285-06:00Sojourner's Truths<b>words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup • they slither while they pass • they slip away across the universe • pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind • possessing and caressing me</b>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.comBlogger930125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-76884120665766527522012-09-03T09:29:00.002-05:002012-09-03T09:30:29.028-05:00Let Me Roll It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">My new book club friends and I have begun exchanging emails every day. We either share our "G's" in the morning (what we are grateful for) or our "V's" at night (our victories for the day). It has been amazing how such a seemingly simple thing has changed my outlook and helped me to see the positive in even the worst of days.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">This is my quote for the week. I've written it on my inspiration white board to remember...</span><br />
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<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">"Mind is like dough, which means you can mold it into any shape. </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">You can roll it into suffering, or roll it into ultimate happiness."</span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"><i style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px; font-style: italic;">- How to Be Happy </i><span style="font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">by Lama Zopa Rinpoche</span></span></div>
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sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-42812472911807860012012-08-31T19:01:00.000-05:002012-08-31T19:01:05.987-05:00It's Nice to Be Alive<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of the VPs at my company - who is the coolest guy ever and someone I consider a friend - shared this video on Facebook. So uplifting and true.<br />
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That is all.</div>
sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-25290291041253095732012-08-18T17:21:00.001-05:002012-08-18T17:21:30.326-05:00Thoughts in Motion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
On the bus home from a night over with my family. It's so weird to read my old blog posts and compare what my life/family/world was like then and how it is now.<br />
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I used to live here, in this house on Staten Island, amidst what I affectionately refer to as the "chaos." I would take the express bus into Manhattan for work, summer internships, or just to hang out with my friends. Manhattan was the island of dreams! To think that one day I would be living a stone's throw from my beloved Union Square, my beloved Strand Bookstore. It is unreal. If I had known it then, I would have been shocked and excited.<br />
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So many things have changed from when I started this blog in 2005. I can remember sitting in the front room of my family home, excitedly writing up and publishing my blog posts. Seven years ago, and so much has changed. I'm married now. Father is gone, another man in his place. Kid Sisters #1 and 2 are starting junior high school.<br />
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There's that famous question, "What would you tell a younger you? What advice would you give, based on your perspective in hindsight?" I don't even know what I would tell my younger self about the future. She couldn't possibly imagine what it would turn out like and would have a hard time believing me if I told her. The good, the bad and the ugly. Could I tell her, "Hang in there, things get better?" Yes, and it would be true. Could I also tell her, "You are going to go through so much more pain that you went through before?" Yes, and she wouldn't find it possible, but it will happen. "You will gain perspective and understanding of what it all means eventually." Sort of. Yes. Sure.<br />
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Who knows? Maybe the me in 10 years has a better answer to that one!</div>
sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-10636988358261450822012-08-13T21:53:00.002-05:002012-08-18T17:14:18.391-05:00Wow<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Every time I read old posts in this blog, I feel the following (in no particular order):<br />
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<li>Nostalgia - So good to have all of these moments kept neatly together years after I've forgotten them.</li>
<li>Pride - I used to be a good writer once! I was interesting and funny. I read it and it's like I didn't even write it.</li>
<li>Discouragement - Will I ever be this clever again? It doesn't feel like it.</li>
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Does youth equal wit? I hope I haven't lost it. I read over these posts and they actually make me laugh. I can't imagine writing like that now.</div>
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But I'd like to try!</div>
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sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-4943709762812364372012-05-23T15:29:00.000-05:002012-06-03T06:36:47.383-05:00Letting Go, Part 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We had a great book club discussion. Different people enjoyed different aspects of the book and ideology. The concepts of nonattachment and "letting go" made the largest impression. I spoke about how we are so used to trying to control outcomes. It's part of the American Dream - you are responsible for your own future. You succeed or fail by your own hand. By the same token, if you suffer, it means that you should have prevented it by taking a different course of action. This has caused me a lot of stress personally, trying to analyze all of the things I could have done differently after a tragedy. We want so much to think that we control everything, but we don't, and the concept of detaching and acknowledging what happens in life without fighting it can help with that (theoretically). In the book, Lama Surya Das mentions a sign he once saw that said, "Let Go, or Be Dragged." That image stuck with me.<br />
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If you could detach in a healthy way, who/what would you detach from?</div>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-74525802221281184652012-05-20T08:39:00.001-05:002012-05-20T08:39:48.635-05:00Letting Go, Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Happy Sunday, friends. I've been meaning to write this post for a while, but you know how it goes :)<br />
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Last month my book club finished <i>Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be</i>: <i>Lessons on Change, Loss and Spiritual Transformation </i>by <a href="http://www.surya.org/" target="_blank">Lama Surya Das</a>. We met a couple of weeks ago to discuss the book. It was a small turnout - only four of us total - but we had a great discussion about the book and an overall great time.<br />
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This was my first experience reading Lama Surya Das and I just loved it. The Dalai Lama calls him "The Western Lama," and I found that be one of his greatest strengths as a writer - to be able to make Eastern thought clear and relevant for a Western audience. Here are some of my favorite quotes:<br />
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<i>The philosophy of nonattachment is based in the understanding that holding on too tightly to those things, which in any case are always going to be slipping through our fingers, hurts and gives us rope burn. This is the secret of letting go.</i> </blockquote>
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<i>Inner detachment, remember, is not synonymous with indifference. We do still care about others ... but we are far less invested in desirable outcomes.... We can flow better and roll more gracefully with the rollicking punches and weaving bumpy roadways of life.</i></blockquote>
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<i>Many of us have been conditioned to believe that another person is going to "save me." Be honest now, don't we all want to believe the following myth? "All I have to do is find the Prince (or Princess) Charming of my dreams, who will complete and satisfy me in every way, then my life will be perfect." Recognizing the emptiness of this illusion and living in solitude opens up space for the inner face of divinity to emerge within one's own heart-mind. Then one begins to find God and the beloved everywhere in everything, always. Life becomes your lover.</i></blockquote>
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My book club hasn't met yet to discuss the book we've read but just reading it has kickstarted me into a Buddhist phase. Aside from that book, I've purchased <i>How to Be Happy </i>by Lama Zopa Rinpoche and <i>The Art of Meditation </i>by Matthieu Ricard. I visited the <a href="http://www.kagyu.org/">Karma Triyana Dharmachakra Monastery</a>, where I took a tour and a meditation class for beginners. I also bought a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhist_prayer_beads">mala</a> for practicing meditation - it's only a wrist mala for starting. I used to have one <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2007/06/last-nights-meditation-class-was.html">when I took Hindu meditation classes</a> years ago, and it was the long standard 108-bead mala. I don't know where it ended up when we moved, but I miss it.</div>
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So what's my angle? I was raised born again Christian, departed from the faith in my early adult life, and remain interested in spirituality but from a safe distance.</div>
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I have always been drawn to images of the Buddha because he looks so peaceful. I tried reading the Buddhist texts years ago but was put off by the idea of detachment. Buddha taught that we suffer because we are attached to things - people, possessions, etc. - and if we detached from them, we would find peace. I can understand a healthy detachment from your possessions, but from your family or friends? That always threw me off and prevented me from taking Buddhism seriously.</div>
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Even now, when I meditate, I am not "praying." Buddhists don't really have a deity they pray to. The meditation class teacher explained to us that the different bodhisattvas (Tara, etc.) represent different aspects of the mind. Seems like a religion an intellectual humanist can get into. </div>
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I like the stress management aspect of Buddhism and meditation. I am so amped up on stress every day of the week. This is partly my personality and partly my living in one of the most stressful cities in the world :) Either way, it needs to stop. These books and practices have been helping me to slow down and calm down. Breathe a little. Pay more attention. I'm not very good at it yet but it takes practice.</div>
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</div>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-88134206969448103002012-04-16T19:29:00.003-05:002012-04-16T19:40:51.025-05:00Be Present<p align="center"><a href="http://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/ftr/laughing-buddha3.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 188px; HEIGHT: 221px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://res.mindbodygreen.com/img/ftr/laughing-buddha3.jpg" /></a></p>I have so much to catch you up on. In the last month, I went from no interest in spirituality to joining a book club, practicing meditation and visiting a Tibetan Buddhist monastery. How did I get here?<br /><br />My troubles have always led me to faith in the past. This is not surprising. I've had a <u>lot</u> of troubles in the past year, so I began reading books on self-improvement and meditation.<br /><br />One day, I got an email about a new book club in my neighborhood focusing specifically on books about personal improvement and spirituality. Those were exactly the types of books I was reading at the time, so I joined.<br /><br />We had our inaugural meeting a month ago and I joined the most interesting group of ragtag misfits - a Tarot reader and consultant, an Orthodox Christian high school English teacher, an elderly retired philosophy teacher, a young Christian woman close to my age, and a young man highly interested in "energy" as it is depicted in <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Celestine-Prophecy-James-Redfield/dp/0446671002/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1334623021&sr=1-1">The Celestine Prophecy</a>.</em> We each brought a book near and dear to our hearts to share who we are with the group. My book? The life-changing <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2005/04/shadows-of-grief.html"><em>A Grief Observed</em></a><em> </em>by C.S. Lewis,<em> </em>of course.<br /><br />At the end of the meeting, the Schoolteacher, who organized the group in the first place, chose our first book: <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Letting-Person-You-Used-Transformation/dp/0767908740/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334622982&sr=8-1">Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be</a></em> by Lama Surya Das. I read and really enjoyed it. More on that later.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-20916505281193012262012-03-31T11:21:00.006-05:002012-08-13T21:54:37.870-05:00Namaste<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Yesterday I visited <a href="http://namastebookshop.com/">Namaste Bookshop</a>. But maybe I should back up here. Why would I, someone who has not seriously considered religion <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-recently-started-praying-for-faith.html">in 3 years</a>, willingly visit a store filled with Buddha statues, healing crystals, and books on meditation and yoga instruction?<br />
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Over the past year, I've been reading a lot of self-help books. I know self-help books get a bad rap, like the people who read them are miserable, pathetic souls who can't handle their own problems. I disagree with that. Self-help books are amazingly helpful, written by doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists with years of experience and research under their belts. I am also a big fan of therapy for everyone, not just "crazy people." (We are all crazy.) But that's neither here nor there.<br />
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I also began rereading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Buddha-Kapilavastu-Vol-Osamu-Tezuka/dp/1932234438">the manga series by Osamu Tezuka </a>on the life of the Buddha. I first read it in 2008 and loved it. As I was rereading it, some of the precepts of Buddhism called out to me and made sense.<br />
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Serendipitously, at this time I received an email about a new book club beginning that would focus on self-help type books that are spiritual in nature. Naturally, I joined. I'm currently reading our first book by Lama Surya Das and really enjoying it. More about that later.<br />
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So all of these things came together to spark my interest in going to Namaste bookshop. I had never been there before but always vaguely considered it to be a new offshoot of East West Books, which used to live around the corner from Namaste and sadly closed down.</div>
sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-37227890807588250302012-03-27T19:12:00.002-05:002012-03-28T19:24:25.153-05:00The ComebackIt’s funny how life changes. People change. Everything changes.<br /><br />Seven years ago I started this blog to wrestle with the questions about faith and spirituality that had plagued me for a long time, and were especially potent at that particular time.<br /><br />I kept on with it for years, even as I drifted away from its original purpose. I lost interest in spirituality. I got tired of it. I stopped reading books about it, attending religious services, talking to friends about it. I moved on to other things - love, travel, career, intellectual pursuits. At a certain point, the blog’s name didn’t even make sense anymore. I started out on a sojourn (journey, adventure, trip, voyage), but was I even on one anymore? If so... towards what?<br /><br />Then it died off. Why? For a number of reasons. I had shared it with friends, so there was only so much intimately personal info I could put here. I had not shared it with other friends, so very few people knew it was still here or being updated. I ran out of interesting things to ponder under a pseudonym that was not so pseudo.<br /><br />But life is funny and I’ve learned that it comes in stages and phases and can wrap around like a boomerang. Just as I’ve been vegetarian, then meat-eating, then vegetarian, then vegan, then somewhere in between again, I keep coming back to places in my life where I have been before.<br /><br />All of a sudden, I’m reading spiritual books. I’m talking to spiritual people. I thinking about this stuff. A lot.<br /><br />With that, I bring back Sojourner’s Truths for its original purpose. Some of you will have no interest in this, and that’s okay. Some of you will. There may be people out there who never read before who are interested now. By reviving the old, I am making this new and freeing myself up to share even more.<br /><br />Welcome. Or welcome back. I hope you’ll stay a while.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-32755044336611335382011-12-19T23:37:00.003-06:002011-12-19T23:43:21.083-06:00Where does the time go?Can't sleep. Suffering from Day 4 of the mega-cold from hell and have a lot on my mind.<br /><br />So many intense things going on in my life right now that I feel I can't share on the blog. Sometimes I wonder if I should scrap this one and start anew, truly anonymous, without telling any of my friends. Though I doubt many of my friends still read here - I mean, I post once every other month!<br /><br />Do you ever get nostalgic? Like big time? I do it a lot - I mean, I think more than most people. I live in the past or the future, generally... never the present.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9QEDKykCh7rgTYpDM5LL1KCPG7M72f6GVvEkUgY4OKSgdQTpYCmZtjF6yclDIQZTrK-40jtoSOQfZ7h69NxKRYtzeao6Ke80np6rXoQIeuXCMHWJpZxHHJI79YLnerifWkwzMJg/s400/jess+day.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688081792308667858" border="0" /><br /></div><br />Tonight I'm thinking about 2005 me, sitting in the front room of my parents' house, typing away at this blog. Six years younger - wow! Both parents still alive, my biggest concerns were getting a boyfriend and getting an A in my college courses.<br /><br />Time flies.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-62692802389687037412011-11-06T09:12:00.003-06:002011-11-06T09:15:24.355-06:00Things That Make Me Happy: Spotify<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz1X3Re2f-LooaNwy_QjfO_V3TNcyXaOrobGjhhsPHSy6q_te6d8_2nZoykOEx4yq_IxXPmSZ64bLWbDs1thD_mrs3PVbPRFkrdjcm3L1ttN8PAhAblz4jXmGKa3K7SeQL3t4FCg/s1600/spotify.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 256px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz1X3Re2f-LooaNwy_QjfO_V3TNcyXaOrobGjhhsPHSy6q_te6d8_2nZoykOEx4yq_IxXPmSZ64bLWbDs1thD_mrs3PVbPRFkrdjcm3L1ttN8PAhAblz4jXmGKa3K7SeQL3t4FCg/s400/spotify.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671901076943418994" border="0" /></a><br /></div>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-13991333681845641682011-11-02T16:26:00.005-05:002011-11-02T16:47:14.221-05:00NaNoWriMo Time<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGH6CkPE1aEVjDRlRvGdunLxkE2LFcrxm224EkbWBWRLb8q1nT9E9lx1guJ2erKJqvg0dpkEtqBePksojeOKTQU2K1xCnU74VWj6aoDseDHv0C-6SAVswUtQJWXKrVt2QXdES_Pg/s1600/NaNoWriMo+2011+Badge.png"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 180px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGH6CkPE1aEVjDRlRvGdunLxkE2LFcrxm224EkbWBWRLb8q1nT9E9lx1guJ2erKJqvg0dpkEtqBePksojeOKTQU2K1xCnU74VWj6aoDseDHv0C-6SAVswUtQJWXKrVt2QXdES_Pg/s400/NaNoWriMo+2011+Badge.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670516264441518786" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div>I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I've only done this once before, which I apparently didn't blog about if Blogspot's search feature is to be trusted. (All I can find is <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2007/12/last-night-i-went-to-meeting-of-local.html">a post about visiting a new writing group in Austin and hearing a funny NaNoWriMo anecdote</a>.)<br /><br />NaNoWriMo is shorthand for <a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Na</span>tional <span style="font-weight: bold;">No</span>vel <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wri</span>ting <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mo</span>nth</a>, which takes place every November. People around the globe come together and attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in a single month. It's an amazing challenge and quite a feat that many people actually do complete! I love what it represents - community, creativity, people who don't even know each other deciding to do "the impossible" outside of their day-to-day "real jobs."<br /><br />I tried it a few years back but did not make the claim that I would write a brand new novel. I also didn't strive for 50k words. I had a novel in progress with very little progress and decided I would use the month to do the best I could to develop it. I wound up with close to 11k new words that month, which is good to have, but I did learn that setting a challenging goal would have pushed me farther. At 11k words I was kind of like, "Well, this is a lot more than I had, I can be lazy and stop now." You know, when it gets hard.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPOZUUqOUs8zV1M6xN2pZ10Ty122YXIJpUMVVLAzmbxjgAmpUKDdY4oDOt3tZawj8k-ytZd1wV2VbI6MNCRNNwp95-aiDyMqvJ9uRA71Qo5w8nTWx_NElA4WTEJXjkKXCuU5G7zw/s1600/how-to-write-novel-330x427.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 309px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPOZUUqOUs8zV1M6xN2pZ10Ty122YXIJpUMVVLAzmbxjgAmpUKDdY4oDOt3tZawj8k-ytZd1wV2VbI6MNCRNNwp95-aiDyMqvJ9uRA71Qo5w8nTWx_NElA4WTEJXjkKXCuU5G7zw/s400/how-to-write-novel-330x427.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670516541073945010" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br />My novel in progress (for years now - ugh!) stands at about 24k words and I have decided, once again, to NaNoWriMo my way through it, only this time I <u>AM</u> aiming for 50k brand new words. I may hit the target and I may not, but I'm sure as hell going to try and so happy for the opportunity to bring writing back into my life.<br /><br />I've been living in NYC, married, working at a great-albeit-demanding job now for over a year. A lot of things have happened in this year, both good and bad. One of the bad things is that I stopped writing. Completely. Not a thing. In one year.<br /><br />When I lived in Texas I wrote and published articles out the wazoo. I blogged and wrote poetry and read my work publicly at events and networked with other writers. In NY - nothing. Nada. Zip.<br /><br />The reason? There are a few. First is the pace and stress and pressure of the city, the pace and stress and pressure of my job. The second is that I kind of lost my motivation and got writer's block. Even when I <span style="font-style: italic;">did </span>set aside time to write, nothing would come. It's like working out every day for a long time and then stopping for a year. When you do go back to the gym, don't expect to just resume like the year of absence didn't take place. It did.<br /><br />So when a Facebook friend (a member of my Austin writer's group) announced she would be NaNo'ing, it was just the kick in the pants I needed. I completely stopped self-identifying as a writer this past year, when that was practically all I identified myself as previously. How sad! How wrong! Not going to let it happen.<br /><br />Wish me luck...sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-1136851473467988402011-10-18T17:53:00.000-05:002011-10-18T20:21:02.190-05:00Sojourness's Beliefs... circa 2006<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoOvu5mldd0ha4U7eznvAG5DUkSPZ2Owv3VWV4V0W-QphVOqXqsrMl7GUVhWPtnGMbdc4peZjV-9d0PZl2cE3tB2KOHb4oo1H0CnDFC9CCVpGH_jHzMKulGrL5TtU5gGzQGF7S6Q/s1600/Religion+at+work.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 325px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoOvu5mldd0ha4U7eznvAG5DUkSPZ2Owv3VWV4V0W-QphVOqXqsrMl7GUVhWPtnGMbdc4peZjV-9d0PZl2cE3tB2KOHb4oo1H0CnDFC9CCVpGH_jHzMKulGrL5TtU5gGzQGF7S6Q/s400/Religion+at+work.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5665006862658745090" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div>I was going through my blog drafts and see there are a bunch of things I drafted but never published. I thought this was worth sharing - from January 9, 2006.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sojourness's Beliefs</span><br /><br />I believe that we are not to blame for being imperfect, because we did not ask to be born this way, or to be born at all, for that matter.<br /><br />I do not feel that we should perpetuate systems of belief that foster self-loathing and a low sense of self-worth.<br /><br />(I feel that Christianity sends mixed messages: we are sinful and evil, yet greatly valued by God, so precious that He would die for us, yet so abhorrent that only the shedding of his blood would allow us to escape his intense wrath.)<br /><br />I believe that we become "guilty" when we allow our imperfections to harm others without making a concerted effort to avoid doing so.<br /><br />Just as members of oppressed groups unite in solidarity, I believe that woman- and man-kind should be united because we are all in this together. We all face the terrors of life and death, and none of us know for what purpose. Any that claim to are either being dishonest, or cling to doctrines out of fear. I do not fault them for the latter.<br /><br />I believe that there is great love in the world, and it is one of the few, if not the only, reason for waking up in the morning. But it is rare, and hard to find.<br /><br />I am not sure that happiness is attainable as a state of being. (I don't mean in the utopian sense; I just mean one being able to honestly say that she/he is happy in life.) I believe that one can find many examples and instances of it, but nothing more.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-49813120234399447532011-10-16T17:59:00.003-05:002011-11-06T09:15:43.030-06:00Things That Make Me Happy: Tea<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHObfNqXcH25CEfmLZNGN-410S-ZT4o5dIgzs443Z3N9JxHBsvx_A7Bm2yfN518D4MYCYeA_BnelNS7NQgCjSWwPXJPHNCdWHkBRW1b1oKa922n7qX8ZO_3rgAVSULLilzSBGxqg/s1600/tea.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHObfNqXcH25CEfmLZNGN-410S-ZT4o5dIgzs443Z3N9JxHBsvx_A7Bm2yfN518D4MYCYeA_BnelNS7NQgCjSWwPXJPHNCdWHkBRW1b1oKa922n7qX8ZO_3rgAVSULLilzSBGxqg/s400/tea.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664228564521741154" border="0" /></a>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-31566491780862015222011-08-21T12:31:00.003-05:002011-08-21T12:37:10.467-05:00<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYnLZblV4nuIdo4rt0pvmN0Sxdw2u09z77zFcjuJV6NXXcfGT-oMpCK4UIvBc_lf0qD3b5PUMoWgT0qW1iuMBmV0fGPilhSDrSAg42ZF2lmZmP4lB_4a-ns8z_kghlZG-N_hy7HA/s1600/boy-writing-clip-art.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYnLZblV4nuIdo4rt0pvmN0Sxdw2u09z77zFcjuJV6NXXcfGT-oMpCK4UIvBc_lf0qD3b5PUMoWgT0qW1iuMBmV0fGPilhSDrSAg42ZF2lmZmP4lB_4a-ns8z_kghlZG-N_hy7HA/s320/boy-writing-clip-art.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643364626098845730" border="0" /></a>
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<br /></div>I've resurrected the blog and haven't even written anything. That's so me. Husband nagged me about blogging again and I thought it was a good idea. Truth be told, ever since I moved back to New York (1 year ago!) I have not been writing. I used to be so prolific. Even if it wasn't all quality stuff, I was writing. I was a writer. Then I got to New York and became a married woman, a career woman, a family woman, a New Yorker... and became entirely too busy and stressed for my one passion. I thought bringing Sojourner's Truths back would give me the opportunity to at least write something, even if it's not for official publication or a book proposal. Natalie Goldberg, Anne Lamott and every other writing expert says you just have to show up for work like you do with anything else. You have to write consistently, like athletes and musicians and dancers have to practice. You should be writing every day if you're a writer - not letting a year go by with nothing to show for it.
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<br />Sad, I know, but I'm ready to make a change.
<br />sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-5656150923108240642011-07-17T11:23:00.001-05:002011-07-17T11:25:28.744-05:00I Am Back<p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4RsBgi1UawHaBBp6Z4AQIQUGFaAuSpY1SoI2LXaYSsYGgjm6G4eZAQ2waZ7QXsU2LD2pxyVFA4vcKqph076O-aW-CsvvS0ZfHOcAzBidda54BagisMUhroRPk1JInPv2tq9rHQ/s1600/Michael+Scott.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 225px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5630357920225831330" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY4RsBgi1UawHaBBp6Z4AQIQUGFaAuSpY1SoI2LXaYSsYGgjm6G4eZAQ2waZ7QXsU2LD2pxyVFA4vcKqph076O-aW-CsvvS0ZfHOcAzBidda54BagisMUhroRPk1JInPv2tq9rHQ/s400/Michael+Scott.jpg" /></a></p><br /><br />"It's Britney, bitch. And I am back, in the form of a new company. The Michael Scott Paper Company."sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-48541182489059128742011-01-15T08:49:00.004-06:002011-01-15T09:16:10.124-06:00<p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhbC5rH1moZvgmievgAC9moTEovMiQmIzm-7PSu45y-g8PF2PWzV2D_zDjemErOJXkmegEaqler5hi0TMQlJIIVf-JDPcifb8wHY1sJP7Fl7CiepGhtKXnGdX9U-UtpZHfKWinEQ/s1600/nyc.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5562431357750720802" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhbC5rH1moZvgmievgAC9moTEovMiQmIzm-7PSu45y-g8PF2PWzV2D_zDjemErOJXkmegEaqler5hi0TMQlJIIVf-JDPcifb8wHY1sJP7Fl7CiepGhtKXnGdX9U-UtpZHfKWinEQ/s400/nyc.jpg" /></a><br /><br /></p>So we're back from India, moving into our new apartment in a kickass neighborhood today. Husband and I both celebrated our birthdays in the last few weeks, so ready to start a new year. I have so many resolutions, but I'm still in that euphoric hopeful new-year phase where I believe I'll achieve most of them. Yee ha! (<-- Texas residue)<br /><br />I'm not going to lie - I miss Austin. I miss not having to work as hard and the warmth and sunshine. I miss the hell out of my friends, who I still talk to but don't know when I'll see in person again. I miss breakfast tacos and margaritas and queso and people being friendly all the time.<br /><br />But I am not going to let the culture shock of homecoming get me down. When I was in Austin, I dreamed about New York - living in Manhattan like I wanted to since I was a child, being a part of a living, pulsing city that is simultaneously full of history and looking towards the future. The snow and ice will pass, the rude looks on the subway will become commonplace and normal, but the excitement never dies. I hope Husband comes to feel the same way.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-3634214668463620292010-12-30T20:59:00.005-06:002010-12-30T21:22:21.810-06:00<p align="left">Our India trip is almost at an end. It was pretty amazing and will not be our last, considering Husband is Indian. I look forward to future trips where we can really dig into specific areas - Rajasthan, Bombay, South India... </p><p align="left"><br /></p><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlopI4J49ZDvJ91maoKx1jnuq0TWmHrpeCS8VDSYjTn_XI2dcz-q7zNTYRj3LpdY9W7kcRZo758iGmwgaqJQ2zUZCPk-bR3PNHQ713GR2LLBmUhwUQyYGXZY7D1CvrxB0g_7FC_Q/s1600/DSCN4253.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556681042981944530" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlopI4J49ZDvJ91maoKx1jnuq0TWmHrpeCS8VDSYjTn_XI2dcz-q7zNTYRj3LpdY9W7kcRZo758iGmwgaqJQ2zUZCPk-bR3PNHQ713GR2LLBmUhwUQyYGXZY7D1CvrxB0g_7FC_Q/s400/DSCN4253.JPG" /></a></p><br />For my first trip, I got to see most of Delhi as well as the Taj Mahal (breathtaking, not overhyped at all!) and other cool monuments in Agra. Not bad!<br /><br />It's time for New Year's resolutions. I love them because I really get a chance to hone in on things I want to accomplish, though each December/Jan I do get a twinge of guilt in realizing resolutions that have gone unfulfilled. For example, I accomplished very few of <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-new-beginning.html">the resolutions I made for 2009</a>. Looks like I didn't blog about 2010 resolutions (whew). Yet there is also <a href="http://sojourness.blogspot.com/2008/04/alright-people-here-is-my-list.html">the 101 list</a>, the deadline of which is coming up (can you believe it?) Looking back (and updating it accordingly), I've actually accomplished a hell of a lot off of it - wow!<br /><br />Okay, so I feel better :) Now to think about 2011, and possibly a new 101 list...sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-27855098240457625332010-12-19T16:21:00.005-06:002010-12-19T16:44:54.063-06:00I grew up in a conservative Christian, middle-class Republican family from the boroughs of New York City. They were people who came from immigrants, whose own childhoods were darkened by poverty, and who had worked hard to give my sister and I a better life than they had had. When they traveled, it was to neighboring states like Pennsylvania. They were wary of planes, wary of foreigners, wary of the ever-changing world outside of New York and the local church community.<br /><br /><br />Little did I know then that I would grow up to go to college, get a fellowship for work and travel, marry an Indian man and see places my grandparents can't even imagine. I have been lucky beyond words!<br /><br /><br />I write this to you from a hotel in New Delhi, India on my first trip here. Everyone told me, "Prepare yourself: India is overwhelming. It assaults the senses." Yes, that is true. The smog is thick, the dust kicks up, and it's been difficult for me to breathe while outdoors. The crowded streets and size of population rivals Penn Station at rush hour - no small feat. Many places are dirty and polluted.<br /><br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs-AkqmuKuCR8LUGcVHg1JB8VPa6JopcG2hbx-eDiCU-UT9bqscIve_Y1ntqoUQvnpIXM2DklB3MbJvBAOoDBcPPcTSHbN47sq_d-tPuCeeSzqy3zhTTfpXDzJBITlBmjpSx0eaw/s1600/DSCN3865.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5552527281365354946" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs-AkqmuKuCR8LUGcVHg1JB8VPa6JopcG2hbx-eDiCU-UT9bqscIve_Y1ntqoUQvnpIXM2DklB3MbJvBAOoDBcPPcTSHbN47sq_d-tPuCeeSzqy3zhTTfpXDzJBITlBmjpSx0eaw/s400/DSCN3865.JPG" /></a></p><br />But India is simply amazing. The United States is only 234 years old, but I am in a country with palaces and ruins from the B.C. era. Delhi in particular has seen the rule of kings, sultans, Mughal Emperors and the British Raj. It was the scene of terrible violence and upheaval during the 1857 Mutiny and the 1947 Partition. It is still the capital of an emerging player on the global stage, where Parliament convenes and the Prime Minister and President work.<br /><br />I believe, from my own experience, that for those who have not traveled in childhood, it's impossible to go to another country (ANY other country) without changing your life.<br /><br /><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmphSrKzF504dJZVZAPNsfXrV-_XYAB13RS5JKMiI41UFP2kd5AV-tIEulBz2a_T9xSGVQk2GNopHxAnxaL5AtM7EhyEPmZokHKy8qlBTpKVMkCuNMK1YP_q5mpo6OHgZnmD2yg/s1600/DSCN3882.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 300px; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5552527558145522594" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmphSrKzF504dJZVZAPNsfXrV-_XYAB13RS5JKMiI41UFP2kd5AV-tIEulBz2a_T9xSGVQk2GNopHxAnxaL5AtM7EhyEPmZokHKy8qlBTpKVMkCuNMK1YP_q5mpo6OHgZnmD2yg/s400/DSCN3882.JPG" /></a></p>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-62202412630364184522010-12-06T14:01:00.003-06:002010-12-06T14:07:17.288-06:00Today is a sick day. I'm home in bed, which is kind of nice - a change of pace from all the hubbub. I knew that moving back to New York City would make me busier and more stressed than when we lived in Austin, but it was just a concept in my head, not real until we actually got here, in the thick of it.<br /><br />I'm not complaining. I'm happier than I expected. I'm just tired and could use more downtime.<br /><br />I have so much to write about, to say, but I've gotten out of the habit of sharing here and it feels public. Imagine that! At the same time, this blog was my lifeline and my voice since 2005 and I will always feel a strong tie to it. I want to get back to that type of sharing, opening up and spilling out all of the things that just lay buried. Who else to share with?<br /><br />Is anyone still here?sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-25133649466470699772010-08-21T09:34:00.002-05:002010-08-21T09:39:42.955-05:00UpdateI apologize for the lack of blogging - the last month has been a whirlwind, and this coming month promises to be more of the same.<br /><br />I gave notice, I quit, I left my job and the beautiful state of Texas and came back up to the big city. I started a new job almost immediately. My wedding is in less than a month, and Fiance is coming up in a couple of days so we can look for an apartment together.<br /><br />Needless to say, I caught a killer cold (in August) that I can't shake. I am fairly certain it is from the stress of all the change. But it is all good stuff. I am happy.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-68562590423900883792010-07-25T14:10:00.001-05:002010-07-25T14:15:02.146-05:00Things That Make Me Happy: 2 Weeks Notice<p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxLnrAVyBotWNJOiFjQdmvzpJ_7y34j7MZbphp_5PLW0APx3-1reDq3U1exAuD6Bw_DCggbzepZA-AsBLhwlJJAyq3xX2-sOvjlRlyWqytTo3p4XEYKUBGsul-7RrrZosQQH0LnA/s1600/i-quit.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 343px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497924435129030610" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxLnrAVyBotWNJOiFjQdmvzpJ_7y34j7MZbphp_5PLW0APx3-1reDq3U1exAuD6Bw_DCggbzepZA-AsBLhwlJJAyq3xX2-sOvjlRlyWqytTo3p4XEYKUBGsul-7RrrZosQQH0LnA/s400/i-quit.jpg" /></a></p>sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-8953587783629709252010-07-17T09:52:00.008-05:002010-07-17T20:16:01.487-05:00<p align="left">So Fiance and I have been hard at work on wedding planning. Since I am the web genius of the couple (yeah right), I'm in charge of the wedding website and Photoshopping the invitation PDF, among other things. We decided a while back that we wanted to incorporate old photos of our families into our decor. For example, we'd like to find a nice way to put up our parents' wedding pictures at our venue. We also decided - not to give a spoiler away to those of you who will be receiving invitations - to put old family photos up on our wedding website. I have been working on that, and it's a lot of fun.<br /><br /></p><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PM9yQWwzlrjXzaiH5rKsy4Z5ElChIkaGhsvenZ9F2yZAmxZZDr1gJMgJnyFarm0LMWci88npEDljIYnEwZ7YG7QIUXBZ98T6hz-P8YCxhCKI0FI9T3KRIUy6kk1XyHXbdOiccw/s1600/4-6-2010+8%3B02%3B47+AM.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 400px; HEIGHT: 311px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494894103038019538" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7PM9yQWwzlrjXzaiH5rKsy4Z5ElChIkaGhsvenZ9F2yZAmxZZDr1gJMgJnyFarm0LMWci88npEDljIYnEwZ7YG7QIUXBZ98T6hz-P8YCxhCKI0FI9T3KRIUy6kk1XyHXbdOiccw/s400/4-6-2010+8%3B02%3B47+AM.JPG" /></a></p><p align="left">The problem is that every time I look at an old picture of me and my father, I want to vomit. That sounds bad, but there's no other way to describe it. He has been dead for over 2 years - not that long, actually - and I have succeeded in living in denial and rarely thinking about it for just as long. Now my wedding is here. He will not be there. My father and I had a very difficult relationship and I never really fantasized about him walking me down the aisle or having a father-daughter dance with me before. I just kind of assumed he'd <em>be there. </em>And he won't. And that's kind of a big deal. </p>Sounds like I'm stating the obvious but when you make a strong effort not to think about someone for several years, it can surprise you that he is all you think about when your wedding's coming up. It is bringing up all kinds of feelings for me. Guilt about living in another state when he died unexpectedly one morning. Guilt about not spending his last years with him. Guilt about not appreciating him and what he had given me until after his death. It's a lot of guilt.<br /><p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXavSR7sbUML4vK5T0bby-aD5U_b4mzubSPQWa3_GCWtpfIwPM-9wvbb9wzA_4V4ZzEALMgxVGwh4N9JJ7I-OT5JV3IVZl79Lc2YYD8dTreKgT5T5qq4Zxp4DJ_fTtt0gLAF29UA/s1600/4-6-2010+9%3B40%3B44+AM.JPG"><img style="WIDTH: 278px; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494894293415815970" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXavSR7sbUML4vK5T0bby-aD5U_b4mzubSPQWa3_GCWtpfIwPM-9wvbb9wzA_4V4ZzEALMgxVGwh4N9JJ7I-OT5JV3IVZl79Lc2YYD8dTreKgT5T5qq4Zxp4DJ_fTtt0gLAF29UA/s400/4-6-2010+9%3B40%3B44+AM.JPG" /></a></p><br />The easiest thing to do is to quickly click away from the pictures, but for some reason I can't look away. It's painful but I have to do it. There's only so long you can pretend that someone is still alive out there somewhere. One day you have to grow up, and maybe the day you commit to a lifelong, legally binding relationship with someone is the day for growing up.sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982636.post-5421016994284062522010-07-10T08:12:00.002-05:002010-07-10T08:15:34.148-05:00The drama at work continues through subtle hints that I will not be paid very much more for taking on the entire department. It never ends with these people. I am hanging back and waiting while they interview other people. If they want me in the end, we negotiate.<br /><br />Meanwhile, 2 NY jobs are still pending, one of which looks extremely promising...<br /><br />In other matters, we are getting down the wire on this wedding thing. Fiance and I spend all of our free time working on this. This week I've been finishing up the website and invitation and he's coordinating staff and choosing plates and flatware. Um, fun?sojournesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02827493348095938679noreply@blogger.com0