The other day, I had to travel to the Fellowship headquarters in order to discuss my recent decision with Director. (I had already discussed the possibility with her, and she said that she would support me in whatever I chose to do.) Boyfriend accompanied me, but then killed time in a sports store while I had my meeting.
Director was helpful and supportive as always. She said to me, "You are a brave woman!" which I hadn't expected her, or anyone, to say. I don't consider this move to be brave. Scary? Yes. Brave? Not really. It's not like I'm going into a strange city not knowing anyone. This is actually the cowardly move, if you think about it. Running from problems when they're too hard to face. But I think that distance will help me face them. It's not like I'm going to get down there and try not to think about them. I am going to think about them, but in a freer, more relaxed environment than my home has provided of late. *Shrugs* Whatever. I don't have the energy to go over this decision again; it took enough to make it in the first place.
My meeting was quick and I was back with Boyfriend again. Later on, we split up, he to meet one of his friends, me to meet Fellow Seeker and Veteran Seeker. F.S., V.S. and I had so much fun, sipping hot chocolates and diet soda in our favorite gay cafe (oh my gosh... I am a fag hag) and then trotting off to the bookstore. We spent most of our time in - surprise, surprise - the religion section. I picked up an astrology book and read off everyone's supposed personalities and styles. When I was reading about F.S.'s sign, I played a great trick on the two of them. I read, "When you fail, you tend to blame God." Both of their mouths dropped, and a collective gasp could be heard between them. I burst into laughter and revealed that I had made up that last part. (It really said something like, "When you fail, you become bitter and cynical.") We all had a good laugh over that one. (Okay, maybe you had to be there.)
They got me back as we were leaving the store, though. I was in a trance by a table full of books on writing/publishing when I heard F.S. call me and ask, "Do you think this guy is cute?" I turned around and he began walking me towards the front of the store. "What guy? Where?" I asked, not seeing who he could possibly be referring to. He turned me towards a pillar, and I saw the black-coated arm of someone as he began walking out from behind it. F.S. asked again, quite loudly, "Do you think this guy is cute?" I thought to myself, What are you doing? He can hear you! The guy stepped out from behind the pillar... and it was Boyfriend. I was so startled. He was supposed to have called me when he was on his way to meet us, but he hadn't yet, and I had assumed he was at least thirty blocks away. Hee hee.
I have to drive Boyfriend to the airport later today, but I'm not feeling too upset because I will see him in just over a week.
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