At my office, there is a whiteboard in the hallway that I see every time I walk to the kitchen or go visit Friend From Work #1 in his office. It is filled with technical support procedures. There is one section of it that says "Repeat this procedure," but the handwriting of the manager who wrote it makes the word 'repeat' look like 'repent.' Not only that, but though the entire whiteboard is filled from top to bottom and this exhortation is not in any prominent place, my eye is drawn there every time I pass by. Which means, several times each day, I find myself staring at the word 'repent.' In red. Strange, huh? It makes one re-examine the whole idea of mysticism.

I was thinking, as I refilled my water in the kitchen and wrote out the previous paragraph in my head, that a return to the roots of this blog might be in order. In other words, instead of writing about my various aches and pains and how much my colleagues aggravate me, I could go back to the basic idea of spiritual search.

I wouldn't be performing the spiritual search for the purpose of the blog. It is really the other way around. I have had many thoughts on spirituality recently, and some desire to experiment and test the waters, so to speak. So it naturally follows that this blog would become, once again, the place to hold my "truths."

Stay tuned to see where this might lead. I don't quite know myself.

Yesterday I discovered the Gospel Music Channel. This is about ten years too late but I was riveted. When I was a Bible-thumping teenager, I was extremely frustrated that the Bible belt got all the Christian music stations and we up in Babylon (I mean, New York City) got squat. Now that I live in Texas I finally have the Christian channels, just not the Christianity. Ironic, isn't it?

Nevertheless, with or without the fundamentalism, I watched a program featuring Third Day, a band I really used to love. Boyfriend refrained from mocking me except when I revealed that I was formerly in love with Mac Powell (I suppose he felt that all bets were off then). Next week they are showing a program on Jars of Clay. Yee ha! I am making up for lost time now.

The Best News Ever

Sister and Kid Sisters #1 and #2 are coming to visit me for their spring break vacation. A whole week! Sister has been here before (a couple of years ago) but the children never have. I am so excited!

Highly Optimistic Weekend To-Do List

1. E-file tax return √
   
2. Finish 1+ of the 3 articles I have due √
3. Begin backing up laptop files
   
4. Clean my apartment √
5. Do laundry
6. Hook up "new" VCR
7. Somehow force exercise tape out of old VCR √
8. Organize yarn stash
9. Declutter nightstand
10. Successfully replicate a couple of Mother's recipes, only vegetarian √
11. Call the Traveler, since I have owed her a phone call for about 6 months √
12. Take my recyclables down to the recycling center √
13. Exercise
14. Visit belly dance garage sale √
15. Put winter clothes away for storage, donating useless items in the process √
    

If I could get 6-8 of these done, I'll be a happy camper!

Every time I finish this post and log out, I log back in to add something. I've done it 4 or 5 times already. Dammit full-time job, why must you suck all of the time out of my life?

I am currently sipping my french vanilla coffee and swaying to Putumayo Presents Celtic Tides. Thank you, Public Library. Does it get any better than this? When I'm done with these, it's on to Arabic Grooves and Best of World Music: African. I feel like everything these guys put out is awesome.

I saw a throat specialist yesterday who said that my three recent bouts with severe sore throat is due to my tonsils. He said that he wouldn't recommend getting them out unless I am at my wit's end, missing work for example (um, check). He said it is very painful and it's a 2-3 week recovery process with a 2-3% chance of internal bleeding. Yay! Sign me up!

He told me to do a hot saltwater gargle every night, even when I'm not sick, as a preventative measure. He claims to have kept people out of the OR that way. I am torn on what to do. I would like to at least try it, though my friends who have had tonsils out say they wish they had done it sooner because they've never been healthier. Hmm.

Do you ever get tired of being sick? I sure as hell do. I had to go to the doctor yet again today. I also had to get blood work and now I have to see a specialist. I am not worried - it is never anything major, just low-grade infections that disrupt my life - but it is certainly hard going through life as an invalid.

Excuse my exaggeration if you are really an invalid out there. I know that, compared to some people and situations, I have nothing complain about. It is just getting old. Antibiotic after antibiotic, then... Hey, you might be resistant to these antibiotics, the doctors say. Well, that would leave me up the creek, now wouldn't it?


I spent much of the weekend introducing Boyfriend to Roots, one of the best pieces of television history of all time. He had never seen it before. I, on the other hand, grew up with it. It debuted on television in 1977 when my parents were in middle and high school. Mother always tells the story of how she would have to go around to the houses of her Hasidic Jewish neighbors and put the TV on for them so they could watch Roots on the Sabbath!

I have the entire DVD collection that I borrowed/stole from Mother. She is not the type to miss it, and she IS the type to misplace it, so I don't feel so bad. Boyfriend and I watched the first two episodes and some of the third. It is so powerful and tragic, and so well-done. I really need to read the novel one day.

Although I have to admit, as a child of the 80s, it is very strange to me to see all the enslavement of the poor guy from Reading Rainbow. It is psychologically traumatic for me, if you want to know the truth.

This is a rant. It will be as civil as I can make it considering my current rage.

Since joining New Boss's new team in the new division, I have become the most senior team member. (It used to be Friend From Work, but now he is in the other division.) This means that New Boss gives me all of his work to do while he goes to lunches on the company's dime and schedules meetings to hear himself talk. He makes a high executive-level salary with the respect the title brings while I make peanuts and get no respect. This is the situation, and in this economy I have made peace with it. I have also resigned myself to the horrific sexism he spews.

If only it stopped there...

Today Friend From Work tells me that New Boss went to him the other day with a request that he change something on the website because "the girls screwed up." 'The girls' refers to me and Friend From Work #3. He went on to explain that we put the wrong information on a mailing piece. This man looked at the mailing and approved it for printing and sending. I have no idea what he is even talking about.

I cannot believe he is going around to other people in the company and blaming us for his own mistakes.

Things That Make Me Happy: Crunch 'n Munch

The other day I weighed myself after one month. It was severely disappointing. I don't know how accurate it was - last month after I weighed myself at the gym I went to the doctor a day or so later and was like 4 lbs less than the gym scale had said - but according to the gym scale the other day, I have lost nothing.

I shouldn't care. I got a new pair of jeans in the next smaller size from the ones I've been wearing for months and they fit great. I know inches are really what matters and sometimes you don't see the reduction in pounds, but seeing no progress on the scale was disenchanting. I am thinking of just gauging my progress by inches or clothes fit and stop putting myself through this!

Last night Boyfriend and I went to City Theatre and saw a production of August Wilson's Fences. I love that little theatre and we had a good time. Wilson's work is very powerful and the cast was pretty good. As I told Boyfriend, it is really nice to take a break from the movie scene and watch people perform right in front of your face. It is a totally different feel.


In fact, I have thought a lot about my year on the stage recently. I was in a high school production of Guys and Dolls when I was thirteen and fourteen, and working on a play is one life experience that you just don't get in any other setting. The camaraderie with the cast, the hours of your life spent practicing and perfecting, the feeling of putting on a production in front of a live audience... I do not consider myself an actress, but I would love to experience that again, perhaps in a community theatre or something.