Messed Up

Happy HNT. I kept forgetting about it so I haven't done one in a while. That, and I ran out of ideas. This is one of two shots I took for my Thanksgiving HNT. But, since I will still be doing some baking for the remaining holidays, and since this post is all about food and nutrition, I decided to use it.

Yesterday I went to see Nutritionist. I didn't really want to since I had done nothing right since the last time I saw her three weeks ago, but whatever. I went. I told myself that I wasn't going to have her weigh me, but curiosity got the better of me. I'm back up 2.5 pounds. So, in two months, I have lost a grand total of 2 pounds! I'm so proud. *Rolls eyes* Whatever, I deserved this. I always manage to fuck it up somehow.

She was very encouraging and offered me some helpful tips and all that. She told me, however, that I can't do this until I'm ready to do it. She said, "I know you want to, but you have to ask yourself if you're ready to." One of the handouts she gave me said that if you are going through a lot of changes, or just a lot of drama in your life, you should put off making the major diet/exercise changes because it will be too much for you and you'll be setting yourself up for failure. I think that the changes made me feel better, and I would like to try again, but I'm also not going to beat myself up for any mistakes I make. And that whole sweets ban was a joke. I mean, really. *Laughs* But I'm cutting down. Yesterday the only cookie I ate was a Slimfast one that looked like a doggie biscuit with chocolate chips in it. Yum.

Nutritionist made me promise to go at the beginning of next semester, regardless of how well or badly I've done. I said to her, "I came today, didn't I?"

I finished The Fat Girl's Guide to Life. She has won me over; I got hooked on the book somewhere in the middle. It has been enjoyable, and I could relate to a lot of what she said. The most success this book has had for me was getting me to think, Why am I so hard on myself all the time? (e.g. earlier in this post). It's a start.