Friday, January 30, 2009

Updates work better in lists.

  • I started taking belly dance and hip hop dance classes at the gym. I am literally oozing coolness right now. They are the most fun I've had in a while!

  • My job has become soul-sucking and I now truly understand why people go "postal." One silver lining is a closer friendship with New Intern, who is no longer an intern, but a fellow sufferer.

  • Sister is now in college for the first time in her life. It took a few years to get her there but I am crazy proud.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy: Historical Figures on my Fridge

I have neglected to show you all the amazing birthday present Bro sent me!!

That is Shiva on the left, then Sojourner Truth and Frida Kahlo. An eclectic mix, yet all characters who are meaningful for me.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

This is going to sound crazy but I feel more alive than I have in a while. My company is taking risks that are not all that smart or well thought-out, and making more demands of me than they compensate me for, and I am facing an uncertain job hunt in a down economy. And yet, I feel completely energized. I think this was what it took to shake me out of my damn complacency. I hope it continues to uplift me throughout the inevitably difficult process.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy: Change

Today's the day, baby. Let's put this nightmare behind us!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Things at work just got all kinds of scary. It looks like the company is set to split into two sections, one which will work on making the new product a wild success and the other that will maintain customers on the current product. This means a split in personnel and management, and new management coming in. It also means a few layoffs and shaving off.

My job is safe for now, as New Boss asked me to be on his new team, selling the new product. He told me that he was given the option to build his team any way he wanted, including hiring new people for it, but that he wanted me to be on it. He did give me the option, though. It will involve working 10-hour days and a bit of risk, but as we talked and I gauged the level of hysteria in the office, I realized that the overtime and the risk is on both sides. Boss and New Boss are going to the new team, while a new executive hire is going to lead the old. If I elected to stay with the old, I would have no relationship or history with management, and I hear that under them, "the company will not be the same size it is today." At least I have a good working relationship with the Bosses, and they value me enough to invite me over.

Of course, if either side fails, the whole company could go under. Thank you, those of you who are responsible for this shitty economy.

I have been stressed and sick with worry for the past two days. All of this has been hush-hush, with closed-door meetings and "this is sensitive information, don't tell your close colleagues when they question you." Next week all the shit will hit the fan and everyone will know the truth and be reassigned. Maybe I will be able to breathe a little easier then.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

An Email Exchange

IT Guy: Please let me know if you want to watch the inauguration online on the 20th. I'd prefer 30 people not tune into this individually. If there's enough response, I'll get it setup in the conference room.

Me: Si señor.

IT Guy: Commie.

Me: McCarthyist.

IT Guy: Pinko.

Me: Archie Bunker.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Beau and I are once again kicking around the idea of moving back to the northeast (well, back for me), only this time I think we are a little more serious. Actually, he was always serious but I was the troublemaker. Now I just miss my family and am tired of dropping over $1,000 a year (wow! I never quantified it before!) to keep visiting.

Anyway, the simple idea of a job search scares the crap out of me. I have not done it successfully, one would argue, ever, since my current job came about from an internship. I'm a talented worker, which I do not doubt, but I am so not confident in how to present myself and get myself hired. Once I'm working for you, you won't regret it, but how can I make you believe it?

(And to think I'm a writer.)

Remember long ago when I was in a fellowship program and was mentored by the best director ever? She passed away a couple of years ago and I do not know the current director except through some emails. I emailed him for advice, though, because I am an alumnus and that has to be good for something. He critiqued my resume and gave me some tips. Boy, was that painful. It's amazing how we don't see things until someone else points them out. I always thought I had a good resume until he mentioned the fact that it is slightly hideous. (Okay, he didn't say that, but he didn't sugar coat either.)

Maybe the impossible will come true - I mean, we just elected a black president whose middle name is Hussein. Maybe the economy will perk right up, Boyfriend and I will find fabulous jobs and living arrangements in the city of our choice, and we will all live happily ever after. It could happen, right?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy: Cinnamon and Amazing Friends*

I love me some cinnamon. It is one of the few spices that can adequately replace sugar, and it's actually good for you! Experts say it reduces blood sugar levels and cholesterol. I put some in my coffee this morning. Ahhhhh. Mmmmm.

I saw Artsy Friend the other night and she gave me a few birthday presents she made for me. One of them was a handmade knitting bag with her own version of the 'Knitting Takes Balls!' t-shirt I liked so much! I was blown away. Isn't it amazing? She also gave me the most perfect blue suede scarf. I feel like Elvis. Her thoughtfulness really touched me, and her talent just blows me away.

*Not in that order.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Things That Make Me Happy: Birthdays

Well, I had a kick-ass time celebrating the fact that I am now a quarter of a century old. Here were the highlights:

  • Night before mini almond cake and champagne with Boyfriend.

  • Big lunch with colleagues followed by cupcake dessert, all paid for by the boss/company. (I had red velvet!)

  • Receiving of floral arrangement at the office, sent from Mother.

  • Pier One browsing and purchase of super fancy natural soaps on clearance.

  • Viewing of Slumdog Millionaire along with $1 bag of popcorn. $1!

Monday, January 05, 2009

2009: A New Beginning

There's something comforting about going back to work after a vacation. (Oh my gosh, did I just say that?) But honestly, it feels like being anchored to something, like getting back to routine.

I love when a new year starts because it gives me a little push to actually do the shit I say I'm gonna do. I really eat that resolution stuff up. I'm not saying I'm successful but I do like to tell myself that I will be.

Some plans for 2009:

- reconnect with relatives who are not crazy and mean
- push myself even harder in terms of getting to the gym each week and not eating crap
- be more adventurous and try new things just for the hell of it
- go back to my Italian language group and work on my skills, not being intimidated by the prospect of failure


Astarte in her aspect as Warrior Queen exemplifies the independence and spirit that drives us to success, both in achieving goals and surviving life's battles.

I am determined to succeed