i'm alive and well in venice. here is proof.

i have been focusing mostly on a new blog that is just for friends and family and people that know me in real life. don't know if i will keep up sojourner's truths over the summer. maybe when i no longer have to sign over my firstborn child for internet access.

real fright

i have not been sleeping so well lately. it's difficult to fall asleep, and then it's difficult to stay asleep. something woke me up this morning and now hunger is keeping me up. (i didn't eat much yesterday.) having applesauce, hoping that will fix things until morning.

i saw the da vinci code yesterday. was supposed to see it with fellow seeker and veteran seeker but because of car issues and time issues and not feeling well issues, i had to nix that plan and tell them to go on and see it without me. yesterday, i was doing research at the library and then some shopping, and so i ducked on into the movie theater in my neighborhood for the two and a half hour feature.

i thought ronny boy hit the nail right on the head. i loved it. bravissimo. the movie really gave you a thriller, creepy type of feeling. even though i read the book and knew what was going to happen, i felt quite nervous throughout. that's some good film-making. and how could i not simply adore that cast?

afterwards, however, because of my car issues, i had to walk home. it was about a 25-minute walk, but i had to take it through a dark field (night had come already). sure i was nervous, but it was only about 9:00 so i sucked it up and went in.

the bad thing about walking through this field is that if you change your mind a few minutes in, you're in already. i was getting seriously freaked out, seeing albino monks behind every tree. there are lights, but very few and spread out, so it was very dark. i was (hopefully) the only one in the entire field, and after the movie, it was starting to fuckin terrify me. boyfriend happened to be somewhere where his phone wasn't getting reception, so each call began with ring after ring and ended with his voice mail message.

finally, i get to my street and i see that the police or park rangers or whoever the fuck does this have locked the gate early. they lock it at night - i know that - but i don't remember it having been done earlier than 10 or 11 o'clock. i was like FUCK! i turned to my right . . . i didn't have the guts nor the fortitude to walk back through the field, and then take the long way around, which is about a half hour walk in itself, never mind the 20 minutes i'm walking back through the field. i turned to my left . . . the beach is only three blocks away, and once there i can make a quick turn and be home in about 5-10 minutes. but the lights have disappeared altogether at this part of the field, and the big, black trees hover over a deep, thick darkness that i am not willing to even look at for too long. i didn't know what to do.

for some reason, the heavens smiled on me because i walked to the next street (to my left), and that gate had not been locked. i don't know why, they are locked one right after the other and i couldn't even see a trace of the locker uppers or their vehicle, but i was so relieved.

and, f.y.i., i don't appreciate watching a trailer for a nicholas cage movie about 9/11 before the movie comes on. what do you people not understand about NOT READY? i don't think i'll ever be 'ready' to tell you the truth. i'm not for censorship - they can makes movies about whatever the fuck they want to - but geez, i nearly ran out of the theater in tears before opie even got a chance to wow me.

blah blah blah

geez, am i tired. at this rate, i'm going to sleep on the flight. . . and the connecting flight. . . and the train. (yeah, those are my travel plans, but i'm not complaining because i didn't have to pay for any of the tickets.)

the days go by so quickly and i find it hard to get things done. for now i have decided, to hell with the books on the bibliography that i haven't read yet. it's not like i'll be tested on them. they are suggested in order to give me a general background in the field i'll be working in because all the other interns accepted to the program are in this field, and they just hired me because the director liked my face. (joking.) but i will figure it out. my main focus right now is researching that seminar i have to give in july. and packing. and watching movies set in venice (casanova, the merchant of venice, everyone says i love you, hee hee hee). that's the kind of preparation i need! ;)

boyfriend is arranging a little soiree for me the night before i leave. i have a fancy event to go to, something to send the fellows off with in a ritzy atmosphere, and afterwards my friends and i are going to get something to eat, i suppose. he's so cute, making preparations. "give me everyone's contact information and i'll take care of it. you have enough on your mind." um, can you say jackpot? best s.o. in the whole world.

it's only love

why do i love this movie so much? i should be appalled by casanova, the womanizer. why, then, am i going to buy his memoirs to take to venice with me?

damn heath ledger.

home away from home

sorry i have been so delinquent! i leave next week. things are crazy. a lot of shopping, digging through things i already own, reading and studying, watching tourism videos and italian films, and vacillating between extreme excitement and trepidation. but, some great news. . . fellow and i found an apartment!



i don't know which one it is, but this is the street we're going to live on. and we have a garden too! psyched :)

i will miss you

just got home from a long day and am very tired. took girls to school, had un prezzo grande* with boyfriend at the indian restaurant where we first met (awwww), walked like thirty blocks (long ones), tutored, had italian convo group, and came home. *whew* i haven't even had dinner yet but i don't want to get up for a while :)

on the bus home today, i was thinking about when boyfriend and i first separated back in august. sure, it wasn't a break-up, but it was certainly a break, albeit a geographical one. that was tough, man. i don't know how we dealt with that one. i am already starting to have withdrawal symptoms over the imminent two and a half months without him.

having him stay with my family has gotten me so spoiled. now it is difficult to go a few days without him (when he stays with his family). i remember october through december, when we spent two months apart, and that was fuckin terrible. even though i'm excited about venice, i'm certainly not thrilled at the prospect of doing that again.

i'm also starting to stalk my sisters because i know how much i'll miss them too.

*a big lunch

mirror mirror

i hate shopping. i really do. i'm one of those girls that shatters the stereotype, because in my opinion, shopping fuckin sucks. i mean, i have to be in the mood for it, and sometimes the right person will help, but otherwise, it's a pain in my ass.

so yesterday i had lunch with an ex-supervisor from two years ago. she showed me pictures of her baby and gave me contact information for her sister who lives in paris and is going to put me up when i visit. how amazing is that? afterwards i went to the library to research my seminar. then i went . . . shopping.

i hadn't planned to but i figured what the hell. i had seen such lovely things in this one particular store so i went back there. i foraged through the aisles until i was weighed down by a bunch of pretty summer things and went into the dressing room. holy shit. just because something is in your size and actually fits you does not make it a good fuckin idea.

also, is there anything worse than a small dressing room? it's just you, your body, and three gigantic mirrors on all sides, right on fuckin top of you. i nearly ran out of there screaming. i'd like to meet one of the sadistic fucks who designs these things and shove a few zeppoles down her/his throat.

i was so upset that all i ate for the rest of the day (read: 3:00 p.m. until 9:00 a.m. this morning) was one of those little weight watchers "dinners" (i don't eat meat, and potatoes and broccoli ain't no dinner) and pretzels. i woke up in pain all through the night. boyfriend was pissed. he doesn't think i take decent care of myself.

for someone who spews a lot of bullshit on her blog about loving your body and it's fun to be big!, i sure do a lot of stupid things.

today i went shopping with boyfriend and found a couple of skirts and a top that i'm in love with. and the dressing room was bigger. so i feel better.

sit on it

last night was a fun night with some of the fellows. i can't remember which ones were which numbers, so let's just say one of them - who recently married her boyfriend from pakistan - invited us over to their new apartment to sample her 'desi' cooking. so six of us (myself included) went. we had such a good time being a gossipy crowd and talking about how we will all span countries and continents to visit each other this summer. i love those people. at one point during the evening, someone referred to postmodernism, and one of the fellows - a terribly witty english major that i get along with swimmingly - laughed and said, 'that's how you know you're in college. you talk about postmodernism at parties.' we also watched moroccan music videos.

we ate in a circle on the floor, and at one point when i had finished with my food, i put it behind me on the couch to free up some space. i forgot it was there, and about ten minutes later, the terribly witty english major sat in it. i felt bad for making her mess up her jeans, she felt bad for sitting in my food ('i wouldn't eat that if i were you'), but none of us could stop laughing. priceless.

countdown

goodness, i never blog anymore. i can't think of important things to say . . . as if that has ever stopped me before.

i woke up at 5:30 this morning because I was seriously hungry. tried to go back to sleep for an hour, didn't happen because i was hungry. i scoped out the kitchen but there's nothing so made some coffee and settled back into bed with the laptop to do some research, reserve another million books from the library that I won't have time to read, and delight you all with my lyrical prose.

i'm leaving in less than three weeks. that both excites and scares the hell out of me. i have been furiously - well, i wouldn't say furiously, but it's my blog and i'll lie if I want to - studying up in preparation for my job. when i get there i have to give a fully researched presentation that will last thirty minutes to an hour with slides and all that shit. i can put it off until the end of the summer but still. i have never spoken in front of people for that long in my life.

i have to go shopping for everything - luggage, clothes, shoes, books - and i don't know what the hell i'm waiting for. egad.

i saw best friend yesterday. i met her after she got out of work and we had dinner in the park and stuff. in her first year of college, she studied abroad in london and on a week off, managed to make it to rome, florence, venice, milan, nice, and paris. so of course i picked her brain incessantly and made her promise to re-show me her pictures before i go (it's been five years since i saw them). we're also going to go shopping together, and if she can get off from work and find some decent-priced airfare, she wants to visit me in europe. she's the type to do it too. yayyyy.

i was in the music store last night looking at italian cds and i saw marcella bella's album entitled "uomo bastardo" and started cracking up. now that's some music i want to get acquainted with ;)