Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The most exciting thing that has happened in my life since the last posting is that we got DVR. This actually is really exciting - I have been recording up a storm. Harry Potter movies, Anthony Bourdain, I Love Lucy's and King of Queen's... it is a dream come true. I was barely watching any TV at all prior because nothing good was on when I happened to be in front of it.

In the last couple of weeks, I have fallen back into a depression that I have not known for a while. For the past few years I have gone through my ups and downs - a bad day here, a bad week there - but this is more frightening because it is so comfortable and normal. That probably doesn't make any sense unless you've dealt with clinical depression. Bottom line is, it feels right to lay around unmotivated and want to stay in bed for the rest of your life. No panic, no compulsion to get your work done... you just don't care. And I just don't care. I have accomplished very little in the last couple of weeks for this very reason. It concerns me in a cloudy sort of way because I remember these symptoms well. I'm also having a hard time sleeping as much as I need to. Friends From Work #1 and 2 keep asking me if I'm alright, though I am not intentionally moping or anything. It's almost embarrassing when they ask because what can I say?

What to do, what to do...

2 comments:

Andi said...

Big hugs for you because I know exactly how you're feeling. Do what you can, what makes you feel the best, and let time take care of the rest.

musing said...

(((Sojourness)))