Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Lying Eyes

Today in history class the topic of homosexuality came up (it was related to a historical figure we were discussing). A middle-aged woman in my class gave her opinion, and it was intense. She has grown children, and she made the claim that homosexuality is not from God, and if one of her children was gay, she would "kill him." When she first said that, everyone in the room either gasped or laughed (most did both). We assumed that she was just using that expression of wanting to kill someone. Professor then gave her a hypothetical situation: Let's say you have a son that's 25 years old. He's a genius, absolutely brilliant, on the verge of discovering a cure for a terminal disease. One day he comes home and tells you that he's a homosexual. How would you react? She said that he had better leave the door open behind him to run back out because she would kill him. The more she spoke, the more we realized how serious she was and the laughter gave way to open mouths and knit eyebrows. I hope no one in my class is gay because they must have been seriously offended. I was offended, and I'm straight! I just kept thinking to myself, Goodness, does religion really engender this type of hatred?

The figure we were discussing was also guilty of countless instances of infidelity to his wife (he was bisexual, so there were men and women involved). Professor was asking us if we think people should be able to have private lives that the public never knows about, or if knowing a person's private life helps us understand their public actions. I commented that I felt that his private life conveys the fact that he was disloyal and not a man of his word, and it definitely tarnishes his credibility. Professor (always being the devil's advocate) gave me a hypothetical situation. He asked, "You're not married, are you?" I shook my head vehemently. He then said, "Let's say you get married, and after some time your husband no longer finds you attractive. Physical relations between you end, but he doesn't want a divorce. One day you meet a man who is attractive, attentive, all the things you want. Would you have an affair?" I said no. He asked, "No?" I said, "Well, I can't honestly say for sure since I'm not in the situation, but I don't think I would, no." He wasn't defending the cause of infidelity; he was just trying to get me to think outside the box. And it's true... it's easy to say things are right and wrong, black and white, but that's not how life works. I don't, however, think that something like that is justifiable. I would hate to be in that type of situation but I don't think it's ethical to break a vow that you have made. *Shrugs shoulders*


fence said...

Wow! double wow. First of all to have such an opinion, and second of all to have the balls to come out and say that in public. So I'm in shock, but also just a little bit in awe of the wierd woman.

Regarding the whole fidelity issue, I don't even get crushes on tv characters if they are in tv relationships.

BlondGirl said...

I think that some "religions" do engender the type of hatred that woman was oozing out of every fiber of her being. Too bad.

I live down the street from the hospice where Terri Schiavo died. The people that were protesting, all of whom were supposedly Christians, were the most hateful bunch of people I've ever been around. Not a good advertisement for the cause.

As for the fidelity thing, I can remember my stepbrother years ago saying something to me like, "You can't tell me that you expect to be married to the same person for 50 years and never be with anyone else." I was like, "Well, yeah, why not?"

I've been married to the same man for almost 24 years now and my step brother is a 52 year old unemployed pot smoking blob.

sojourness said...

I know. It made me angry because one of my very best friends is gay, and he is one of the most loving, kind, intelligent, spiritual people I have ever met!

As far as the fidelity thing, you both seem to get what I'm saying. I'm tired of people trying to justify bad behavior. I know it's not easy to be in a bad marriage, but if we make excuses for everything we do, where do we draw the line? That was the point that I was trying to make regarding the public figure... how does one know he had any kind of integrity in his public pursuits if that's the type of private life he led?