Monday, August 14, 2006

sister's frog, bob, died. he suffered a gruesome demise in front of the entire family and some guests.

sister noticed that he was swollen and huge, and that he had vomited up several crickets. we all crowded around and agreed that he was, in fact, much bigger than usual. he began flopping around and landed belly up with his legs splayed out and his head submerged under the water, but he just remained that way. we started freaking out and tapping the glass. what is he doing?? then he just went stiff. he deflated and was no longer swollen, and his eyes were half-open, half-closed.

sister was upset. she made puff daddy's 'i'll be missing you' the background music on bob's myspace profile.

yes, he has his own myspace account.

aside from that, life just rolls along. i have discovered a beautiful thing called denial. when i received the email that fellowship director passed away, i cried for a while, and then i just stopped. i realized that i didn't like how it felt to grieve and mourn and that it was going to be painful as long as i thought about it, so i just turned it off. now i am acting as if it hasn't happened. that can't be healthy psychologically, but it feels so much better not to have to suffer through certain feelings. i have learned to 'turn off' a host of things recently.

also, i somehow picked up a british accent while in italy. i swear. i tend to adopt the accent of those around me, but for some reason, my english friends must have had more of an impact than my italian friends, because boyfriend and mother keep commenting on my new mode of speech. i can also hear it myself. what the hell?


A. Estella Sassypants said...

Oh God, the traumatic pet death is the worst. Hamsters are quite charismatic on their deathbeds too. Avoid at all costs.

Understand about the "turn off" thing. My uncle passed away a few months ago, and I totally tuned out and need to deal--but I don't wanna. All in good time, dear.

And the accents...I do that too. I annoyed myself when I picked up the NC accent. And I try to be British as often as possible, although people tend to think me odd. Oh well.


I didn't notice an accent Friday. I got a new friend who picks up accents an' constantly slips into th' Brit. Funky.

Bummer about th' frog. At least it didn't happen while she was away...that completely sucks.

As fer denial...I dunno, I find I'm a bit too heartless to give a crap about a lotta things. Probably my own extreme version of denial. S'why when it comes to sympathy moments I say as little as possible 'cause it just will not come out right otherwise. Sentiment's there, just not th' emotion to back it, ya know?