Sojourness's Beliefs... circa 2006

I was going through my blog drafts and see there are a bunch of things I drafted but never published. I thought this was worth sharing - from January 9, 2006.

Sojourness's Beliefs

I believe that we are not to blame for being imperfect, because we did not ask to be born this way, or to be born at all, for that matter.

I do not feel that we should perpetuate systems of belief that foster self-loathing and a low sense of self-worth.

(I feel that Christianity sends mixed messages: we are sinful and evil, yet greatly valued by God, so precious that He would die for us, yet so abhorrent that only the shedding of his blood would allow us to escape his intense wrath.)

I believe that we become "guilty" when we allow our imperfections to harm others without making a concerted effort to avoid doing so.

Just as members of oppressed groups unite in solidarity, I believe that woman- and man-kind should be united because we are all in this together. We all face the terrors of life and death, and none of us know for what purpose. Any that claim to are either being dishonest, or cling to doctrines out of fear. I do not fault them for the latter.

I believe that there is great love in the world, and it is one of the few, if not the only, reason for waking up in the morning. But it is rare, and hard to find.

I am not sure that happiness is attainable as a state of being. (I don't mean in the utopian sense; I just mean one being able to honestly say that she/he is happy in life.) I believe that one can find many examples and instances of it, but nothing more.

101 Things to Do in 1001 Days

I thought I would return to my list since I am over a year in and have been tracking my progress personally, if not publicly. I've also added some things, such as 'Do 5 New Things with Sisters' and 'Learn How to Embroider.'

Beginning: April 30, 2008
Current: November 2, 2009
Ending: January 26, 2011

Good Will

Put change in someone's expired meter
Donate blood
Participate in a charity walk
Volunteer to serve food to the hungry
Knit an item for charity
Make five donations to five different charities (4/5)
Volunteer with children 20 times

Green

Switch over to my own shopping bags
Walk to the library rather than drive (4/10)
Start recycling
Bring washcloths to work and stop using paper towels

Being a Global Citizen

Visit another country
Visit another place in Texas besides Austin
Learn Hindi
Take a road trip
Re-establish my habit of reading the newspaper daily (in progress)
Significantly improve my Italian (in progress)
Make more Italian penpals (in progress)
Visit an American city I've never been to before

Health

Make regular exercise a habit
Go to the dentist
Meditate once a week for a month
Find a therapist I like
Check my blood sugar
Check my cholesterol
Lose 'X' lbs

Professional, Financial &
General Things Smart People Do

Take the GRE
Start investing in a 401k
Create a budget (in progress)
Get into the habit of writing 300 words a day
Write a novel (in progress)
Clean up flash drive
Clean up files on work computer
Clean up files on laptop
Back up Google Documents
Back up this blog
Create a new 101 list to work on after this one
Earn my market value (in progress)
Scan/archive family photos (in progress)
Organize my writing portfolio
Organize my writing scrapbook
Become more of a decision-maker (in progress)
Become more car-savvy (in progress)
Wash my kitchen floor
Write 15 short stories
Update my resume
Create a cover letter template
Relearn Spanish (in progress)

Love

Take a romantic trip with Boyfriend
Write letters to friends (1/15)
Buy myself flowers
Make a surprise candlelit dinner for Boyfriend for no reason
Do 5 new things with Sisters (2/5)

Culture

See a play in the park
Go to a play at a theatre
Go to the opera
Watch a movie in the park
Read 20 classics that I have never read before (9/20)
Attend 10 different religious services (1/10)

Fun

Get a massage
Go on a hike
Fill an entire scrapbook (in progress)
Reread To Kill A Mockingbird
Get a facial
Learn to knit a hat
Visit the Farmer's Market
Cook 101 new dishes and compile them into a personal cookbook with where I got the recipes and changes made (10/101)
Read every nonfiction book by C.S. Lewis that I haven't read yet
Participate at gimmeyourstuff.blogspot.com
Lie down in the grass and look at the clouds
Exchange five postcards with friends abroad
Knit a prayer shawl
Knit a pair of socks
Reread every J.D. Salinger work
Send a secret to postsecret.blogspot.com
Make calzones with Mom's recipe
Reread The Red Tent
Bake a cheesecake
Bake cookies with a friend
Finish reading the Harry Potter series
Complete 50 knitting projects (25/50)
Go dancing
Reread the LOTR series
Go to a concert
Buy myself some fun jewelry I like
Rent and watch 25 movies I have always wanted to see (11/25)
Knit 2-3 coasters for my desk at work
Knit a pair of mittens (in progress)
Learn how to embroider

Latest news

• I have a few days left to pack everything up and put it into storage before going home to visit with my family.
  
  
• Friend From Work has turned me on to Civilization IV. How did I not know about this game before?
  
  
• CL Friend's baby shower was a great success. Woohoo!
  
  
• I have become a big fan of Offbeat Bride :)
  
  
• I leave you with this awesome video that I just love:

Those of you who don't want your online activity tracked by advertisers should go here and opt out for free. It will even tell you who's already put cookies on your machine to track you. Creepy!

Oh My God

I have had a lot of thoughts and jotted down notes for blog posts, which I will get to shortly. In this quick moment that I have, I want to note the lyrics of a Jars of Clay song that moves me beyond words. It is so true, it really resonates. You don't have to be a Christian to get it, you just have to be human.

I'm going to post the lyrics here, which are awesome, but you really have to hear the song to get it. Reading them will probably be unremarkable. The music makes it happen.

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

What an awesome experience I just had. I started reading Sojourner's Truths from the beginning (February 2005). I only got through two months worth of posts but it has been so enlightening to look at myself from the past. It explains a lot about how I got here. It also reminds me of a different time in my life. I will probably continue to do this.

For my own pleasure, I excerpted quirky/interesting quotes from the posts. You don't have to read them if you don't want to - I am doing this for me!

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Me: One confused chick.

You: Someone to offer thoughts and ideas, or just to laugh at me along the way (or is the the Way?).

The Point: To collect my thoughts as I consider different religious ideologies... To promote dialogue about them rather than just me talking to myself... To seek truth...

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"Were I sufficiently wise
I would follow the Great Way
and only fear going astray"

(Tao Te Ching)

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"Trying to get to heaven before they close the door"

(Bob Dylan)

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"[W]omen should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
-1 Corinthians 14:34-35-

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
-Ephesians 5:22-24-

You know what's strange? This stuff has actually made me consider the possibility that women really were only created to be wives and mothers. At one time, I wondered if even though we're equal, God really did only create us for that. Then I slapped myself. Inferiority propaganda is strong.

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During intermission, the person I went with (my mother's best friend) asked me, "So, what's the story? Why do you hate the world?"

-----

I went to a Christian college briefly and one of my professors said that Christianity is extremely inclusive and extremely exclusive at the same time.

-----

"Everyone needs a God who looks like them."

(Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees)

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He told me during this Heresy at Starbucks episode that he wants to pull a Thomas Jefferson and take out all the parts of the Bible he doesn't like.

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Religion enables me to think outside the box, and dream bigger than this world.

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You know what's funny? I write all these angry comments in this blog, and it's like a release for me. I can go to church and really enjoy it because I feel like I've left all my bitterness here. Does that make sense?

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C.S. Lewis gave an analogy he got from a friend: God is like an emergency parachute that you hope you'll never have to use.

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I find this somewhat sad. It makes me feel like I'm using God as an over-the-counter antidepressant or something.

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The thing that got me, though, was the songs they chose to sing. What in the world has happened to worship music? Was it always like this, and I just never noticed? One song referred to unbelievers as "the perishing" and contrasted it with "but to us who are being saved." The next one actually had a line that said "We all deserve to die" while singing about God's mercy. The words We All Deserve To Die flashed on the screen and people are singing and clapping. I looked at Sister with knit eyebrows. "I don't like these lyrics," I said. "Why, what did they say? I wasn't listening," she said. She hates when you have to sing in church.

Here's my point: Me having a problem with this is either a humility vs. pride issue, or religion promotes self-hatred. Think about it.

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It's like a God boycott. What a funny concept.

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Then he said, "You have to learn how to handle your own shit and not rely on divine intervention."

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Mother and I skimmed a documentary on hell. Gee, that was fun. It provoked some good conversation, though. After that, we were flipping channels and we came upon a woman preaching. I said, "A woman preaching? That's disgraceful," and smirked. That raised the whole Paul misogyny issue once again. She said that I have a lot of pride because I act like, "Paul's not going to talk about me, a woman, like that!" I said, "If those verses said that both men and women should or shouldn't do something and I complained, you could call that pride. It doesn't say anything derogatory about men. It's unfair." She also argued, "It's not sexist. Paul felt that way because he was raised during that time." I replied, "That's like reading KKK literature and saying that it's not racist because they couldn't help being raised like that. It's still racist."

I feel like the heathen of the house sometimes.

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Maybe I should marry a Buddhist.

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What's wrong with a little literary upper every now and then?

Things That Make Me Happy: Historical Figures on my Fridge

I have neglected to show you all the amazing birthday present Bro sent me!!


That is Shiva on the left, then Sojourner Truth and Frida Kahlo. An eclectic mix, yet all characters who are meaningful for me.

I want this one too! I think Artsy Friend needs to come over and give me an iron-on tutorial.

Special Comment

Andi at The Unlikely Activist posted this video, and I think it is really powerful.

Things That Make Me Happy: Breast Cancer Fundraising Popcorn Balls Shaped Like Breasts

I Decided on the Perfect Halloween Costume:

Bro just spent the weekend with us, which was nice. We visited a prehistoric cave, went swimming, ate at some of my favorite places, played pool and went bowling with CL Friend and her husband. Oh, and we watched a couple of episodes from his DVD collection of Super Mario! Wow, did that take me back...

I think that Andi's post on depression is fantastically honest and accurate. Kudos to her for having more courage than I do.

How it’s done:

* Answer each of the questions below.
* Surf over to Flickr and type your answers (one at a time) into the search bar.
* From the choice of pictures shown only on the front page, click the one that moves you (edited to add: unless they are lousy, in which case dig a little deeper).
* Once the page with your picture opens, copy the URL.
* Surf over to the Mosaic Maker, set up your mosaic, and paste in your URLs.
* Click “Create!”
* Save the image, upload it to your favorite picture site (if it’s not Flickr), and blog away.

Here are the questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name?

The Great Office War

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time!

I made a nifty little link to the left (beneath 'About Me') that will allow you to go back to my 101 List whenever you want and see how I'm doing. You know, so you guys don't think I am some kind of loser who makes resolutions and then forgets about them.

The Bob

I had it done last weekend. Reactions have been genuinely positive around the office and in my little world.

I finally stopped biting my nails and they are looking good.

Guaca-what?

I made vegetarian beef quesadillas, and they actually came out really good! That's not a Flickr photo I stole; those are mine! I also made the guacamole from scratch.

Half of that plate - which is all you can really fit into your stomach at one time - is under 400 calories.

I am feeling quite proud of myself right now.

Bigfoot

I calculated my ecological footprint via MyFootprint.org, and though I use up 8 acres less than the average American, if everyone lived like me, "we would need 3.7 planets."

Yikes.

*This is including the fact that I have made my way back to semi-vegetarianism in the last week.