I need a good "don't-lose-it" mantra for work. So far, I have been using "Serenity now!" from Seinfeld. Anyone have a better suggestion?

Hoochie mama?

What an awesome experience I just had. I started reading Sojourner's Truths from the beginning (February 2005). I only got through two months worth of posts but it has been so enlightening to look at myself from the past. It explains a lot about how I got here. It also reminds me of a different time in my life. I will probably continue to do this.

For my own pleasure, I excerpted quirky/interesting quotes from the posts. You don't have to read them if you don't want to - I am doing this for me!

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Me: One confused chick.

You: Someone to offer thoughts and ideas, or just to laugh at me along the way (or is the the Way?).

The Point: To collect my thoughts as I consider different religious ideologies... To promote dialogue about them rather than just me talking to myself... To seek truth...

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"Were I sufficiently wise
I would follow the Great Way
and only fear going astray"

(Tao Te Ching)

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"Trying to get to heaven before they close the door"

(Bob Dylan)

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"[W]omen should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."
-1 Corinthians 14:34-35-

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
-Ephesians 5:22-24-

You know what's strange? This stuff has actually made me consider the possibility that women really were only created to be wives and mothers. At one time, I wondered if even though we're equal, God really did only create us for that. Then I slapped myself. Inferiority propaganda is strong.

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During intermission, the person I went with (my mother's best friend) asked me, "So, what's the story? Why do you hate the world?"

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I went to a Christian college briefly and one of my professors said that Christianity is extremely inclusive and extremely exclusive at the same time.

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"Everyone needs a God who looks like them."

(Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees)

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He told me during this Heresy at Starbucks episode that he wants to pull a Thomas Jefferson and take out all the parts of the Bible he doesn't like.

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Religion enables me to think outside the box, and dream bigger than this world.

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You know what's funny? I write all these angry comments in this blog, and it's like a release for me. I can go to church and really enjoy it because I feel like I've left all my bitterness here. Does that make sense?

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C.S. Lewis gave an analogy he got from a friend: God is like an emergency parachute that you hope you'll never have to use.

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I find this somewhat sad. It makes me feel like I'm using God as an over-the-counter antidepressant or something.

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The thing that got me, though, was the songs they chose to sing. What in the world has happened to worship music? Was it always like this, and I just never noticed? One song referred to unbelievers as "the perishing" and contrasted it with "but to us who are being saved." The next one actually had a line that said "We all deserve to die" while singing about God's mercy. The words We All Deserve To Die flashed on the screen and people are singing and clapping. I looked at Sister with knit eyebrows. "I don't like these lyrics," I said. "Why, what did they say? I wasn't listening," she said. She hates when you have to sing in church.

Here's my point: Me having a problem with this is either a humility vs. pride issue, or religion promotes self-hatred. Think about it.

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It's like a God boycott. What a funny concept.

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Then he said, "You have to learn how to handle your own shit and not rely on divine intervention."

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Mother and I skimmed a documentary on hell. Gee, that was fun. It provoked some good conversation, though. After that, we were flipping channels and we came upon a woman preaching. I said, "A woman preaching? That's disgraceful," and smirked. That raised the whole Paul misogyny issue once again. She said that I have a lot of pride because I act like, "Paul's not going to talk about me, a woman, like that!" I said, "If those verses said that both men and women should or shouldn't do something and I complained, you could call that pride. It doesn't say anything derogatory about men. It's unfair." She also argued, "It's not sexist. Paul felt that way because he was raised during that time." I replied, "That's like reading KKK literature and saying that it's not racist because they couldn't help being raised like that. It's still racist."

I feel like the heathen of the house sometimes.

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Maybe I should marry a Buddhist.

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What's wrong with a little literary upper every now and then?

I'm sitting here with a cup of comfort and reflecting on my visit home so far. Highlights include:

• My very first Greek wedding, which was freaking awesome.

  
  

• Teaching a 7-year old how to knit, and watching her do it successfully, to my amazement.

  
  

• Watching a 2-year old pick up a plastic ball-in-a-maze toy and say in an exasperated voice, "How do you play this?? There's no mouse!"

This past weekend has been one of the best vacations I have ever had with my family. Here are some memorable quotes:

Kid Sister #1, as we rolled up the car windows: "Why does New Jersey stink?"

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Kid Sister #2, as we discussed Sister's dislike towards me: "Everyone should like you because you're so pretty."

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Kid Sister #1, as I described that feminism is about believing that boys are not better than girls, but we are all the same: "Well... boys are a little dumber."

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Baby Sister, after stubbing her toe on the door: "Shit!"

The Mark of a Good Friend

Me: Boyfriend has a new female study partner. I hope she is ugly.
CL Friend: I'm sure she is ugly. And boring too.

Fellow (my roommate in Italy, for those of you who forgot) emailed me the following Walt Whitman quote:

"What do you think has become of the young and old men?
And what do you think has become of the women and children?

They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,

And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier."

- Leaves of Grass

I found a lovely quote in a novel this morning:

"[...] he pitched the prince headlong into the mysteries of men and gods, thrusting his mind into darkness in order that he find his own way back to light."

More spiritual posts to come; I am thinking and feeling a lot these days.

Why I Love Children, and Particularly Those Who Are Related To Me

Me: "What are you learning about in school?"
Kid Sister #2: "About Christopher Columbus."
Me: "Really? Who was he?"
Kid Sister #2: "He had three ships. He was a sailor."
Me: "Wow. Where did he sail?"
Kid Sister #2: *Silence* "I don't know. To an island. In the east."

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Kid Sister #1: "I love December, it's my favorite month. I love it because it has Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve and Christmas and... Kwanza..."

New company lounge nearly done. Found out today we're getting a pool table. Crazy, huh? I will be too afraid to use it, thinking my boss will think I'm slacking off. (Which is what I would be doing, but why else have a pool table at work?) I remember playing a hospital game on the computer - this was before the Sims revolution - and you created and furnished your hospital, and when you put a pool table in the employee lounge, no one did any work. People were dropping dead because doctors and nurses were shooting pool. Think I should mention that to my boss? Ha ha.

P.S. Second Bridget Jones movie was fab as well. My new favorite quote: "I refuse to work with someone who believes that Iran is the name of David Bowie's wife."

"So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people, and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God had him hang out with chimps for a hundred years. It's quite beautiful, really. God directed Adam's steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.

I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all around and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued. If I were a girl today in America, I would be a feminist for sure. I read recently where one out of every four women, by the time they reach thirty, are sexually harassed, molested, or raped. And then I thought how very beautiful it was that God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one. She would be the most precious creation in all the world, and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps. It stands to reason if Byron, Keats, and Shelley made beauty from reflecting on their muses, having grown up around women all their lives, that even these sonnets could not capture the sensation Adam must have felt when he opened his eyes to find Eve."

- Donald Miller