Our India trip is almost at an end. It was pretty amazing and will not be our last, considering Husband is Indian. I look forward to future trips where we can really dig into specific areas - Rajasthan, Bombay, South India...

For my first trip, I got to see most of Delhi as well as the Taj Mahal (breathtaking, not overhyped at all!) and other cool monuments in Agra. Not bad!

It's time for New Year's resolutions. I love them because I really get a chance to hone in on things I want to accomplish, though each December/Jan I do get a twinge of guilt in realizing resolutions that have gone unfulfilled. For example, I accomplished very few of the resolutions I made for 2009. Looks like I didn't blog about 2010 resolutions (whew). Yet there is also the 101 list, the deadline of which is coming up (can you believe it?) Looking back (and updating it accordingly), I've actually accomplished a hell of a lot off of it - wow!

Okay, so I feel better :) Now to think about 2011, and possibly a new 101 list...

I grew up in a conservative Christian, middle-class Republican family from the boroughs of New York City. They were people who came from immigrants, whose own childhoods were darkened by poverty, and who had worked hard to give my sister and I a better life than they had had. When they traveled, it was to neighboring states like Pennsylvania. They were wary of planes, wary of foreigners, wary of the ever-changing world outside of New York and the local church community.


Little did I know then that I would grow up to go to college, get a fellowship for work and travel, marry an Indian man and see places my grandparents can't even imagine. I have been lucky beyond words!


I write this to you from a hotel in New Delhi, India on my first trip here. Everyone told me, "Prepare yourself: India is overwhelming. It assaults the senses." Yes, that is true. The smog is thick, the dust kicks up, and it's been difficult for me to breathe while outdoors. The crowded streets and size of population rivals Penn Station at rush hour - no small feat. Many places are dirty and polluted.

But India is simply amazing. The United States is only 234 years old, but I am in a country with palaces and ruins from the B.C. era. Delhi in particular has seen the rule of kings, sultans, Mughal Emperors and the British Raj. It was the scene of terrible violence and upheaval during the 1857 Mutiny and the 1947 Partition. It is still the capital of an emerging player on the global stage, where Parliament convenes and the Prime Minister and President work.

I believe, from my own experience, that for those who have not traveled in childhood, it's impossible to go to another country (ANY other country) without changing your life.

Update

I apologize for the lack of blogging - the last month has been a whirlwind, and this coming month promises to be more of the same.

I gave notice, I quit, I left my job and the beautiful state of Texas and came back up to the big city. I started a new job almost immediately. My wedding is in less than a month, and Fiance is coming up in a couple of days so we can look for an apartment together.

Needless to say, I caught a killer cold (in August) that I can't shake. I am fairly certain it is from the stress of all the change. But it is all good stuff. I am happy.

Shhh...

I am back in my hometown (city) spending time with my family for a month before returning to Texas. It's a secret I'm keeping from anyone at my job. Ha ha!

I have only been here for 2 days so far but I managed to find my old Halloween costume in the basement. Queen Guinevere is making a comeback at my sister's costume party tonight.

I lost about 14 pounds while abroad, and I'm hoping that the chocolate from tonight and tomorrow doesn't reverse it ;)

Happy Halloween!

Fantastic News, and Other Bits That Are Less Fantastic

Yesterday Boyfriend and I got officially engaged at one of the wonders of the world. He gave me a diamond ring, we took photos with his family and we had dinner at a fancy hotel. Our lovely engagement dinner gave us... if not food poisoning, then its close cousin, and we were up all night throwing up until we needed to have an emergency doctor visit in our hotel room at 3 am.

You can't script this stuff, I swear.

I'm in a cafe with Boyfriend with our laptops. We have just consumed some food and coffee drinks and talked about our wedding date and guest list. I feel so very blah, couldn't tell you why.

I started back in with my exercise regime today. I have been swimming a lot and eating healthier here but apart from that I haven't been very consistent on exercise. I think it will help relieve the depression symptoms - actually, I know it will if I just forced myself to do it. So I did belly dancing today. I was able to buy my favorite series at a local store for dirt cheap so I was pretty happy.

I figured I should blog since I am at a place with wifi (internet at the residence is quite slow) but honestly, what to tell? I document cultural observations at my travel blog, the link to which most of you have, and not much is left for here except occasional sighs.

I've neglected you. I know. I'm sorry.

I have had a hard time adjusting to life in a foreign country. I have, however, lasted over a month and am doing much better now. (Two more months to go.)

It occurs to me that I am spending my entire life worrying about things that might never happen. How can I stop doing that?

Par-tay

Well, I had a blast at my two parties this weekend. Party #1 included friends like Bro, the Traveler, Future Priest, etc. We had a good time despite the fact that very few people were brave enough to tackle the karaoke machine and I laughed so hard I spit out a mouthful of Diet Coke over an entire pizza pie.

Party #2 was yesterday and much of Father's family was there: my grandparents, my aunts and cousins, my great aunt, my second cousins. It was the first time I had seen them since his funeral over a year ago and though it was difficult, it was quite worth it. Great Aunt also gave me a little family history, which was awesome. When I return to the States, I need to call her and ask her for more information for my genealogical research.

The rest of my stay, which is slowly coming to a close, should be relatively quiet. And then, onward! :)

Latest news

• I have a few days left to pack everything up and put it into storage before going home to visit with my family.
  
  
• Friend From Work has turned me on to Civilization IV. How did I not know about this game before?
  
  
• CL Friend's baby shower was a great success. Woohoo!
  
  
• I have become a big fan of Offbeat Bride :)
  
  
• I leave you with this awesome video that I just love:

Boyfriend is sleeping, and this is my quiet time. I am drinking coffee, painting my fingernails party red, listening to Pandora and blogging. I love Boyfriend and, in fact, we probably spend more time together than is healthy, but these little quiet times (without the TV on!) are awesome too.

I saw Crafty Friend (I used to call her Artsy Friend but this seems more appropriate) the other night for dinner and knitting. She gave me a book of Wedding Crafts that she had picked up somewhere. So cute! She knows me so well, judging from her gifts.

Since we are leaving this apartment (and the country) in a few weeks, I need to go through all the crap I have accumulated here in the last 2 years. It's amazing how much you can pack into small spaces while living there. If I moved it all out, I bet I couldn't fit it back in ;) Closet full of yarn, bookshelf full of books, storage bins full of journals, greeting cards, photos, craft materials... It's incredible. And you know I don't want to throw anything away!

Step 1: Donate unwanted books to public library.

Step 2: Decide which books, yarns, DVDs, etc. are making the trip with me and which are going into storage.

I don't want to plan out much further until I get there; I'm overwhelmed enough already!

Boyfriend and I have just made the decision to spend several months abroad. We are leaving quite soon, and this big change made me reconsider my blog here. After all, I want to start a new blog that is not anonymous to allow my friends and family in the U.S. to keep up with my travels. I have been so open here that I cringe at the thought of it becoming linked with my real self, considering that the internet betrays us all and your boss, for example, can find out much more about you than you want to share after a few clicks. After much thought, I figured that if I couldn't write about my life here, there was really no point in continuing it. I was ready to retire.

I am hesitant, though. I feel that I would lose all of my readers, and that if I wanted to restart when I return at the beginning of next year, the momentum would be gone. No one would stop by anymore.

I am now thinking that I can keep the blog without discussing my travels or even where I am. (Mysterious, huh?) There are many other things I can share - my thoughts on life and spirituality, my wedding planning, etc.

Anyone want to vote? Will you still read or not interested?

I like the list method. It suits me.

• I may have strep throat. I went to the doctor yesterday and should be finding out today. Lovely.
  
  
• Valentine's Day was sort of a bust because of the (possible) strep throat. I had a whole fancy dinner planned but none of it came to pass because I was sick in bed.
  
  
• Valentine's Day was also awesome because for the first half of the day, before the illness set in, I watched movies, decorated cookies and ate chocolate with my favorite girls in the world (aside from my sisters) - the girls I visit on weekends. They even gave me a Valentine! :)
  
  
• I was in a knitting funk until I decided to start a super cool top for Sister. I bought Simply Soft yarn in a pale green and am working on it right now.
  
  
• Plans continue to be made for Boyfriend's Sister's wedding this summer in Bali. As in, Future MIL is asking for my measurements to make me an Indian outfit!
  

Beau and I are once again kicking around the idea of moving back to the northeast (well, back for me), only this time I think we are a little more serious. Actually, he was always serious but I was the troublemaker. Now I just miss my family and am tired of dropping over $1,000 a year (wow! I never quantified it before!) to keep visiting.

Anyway, the simple idea of a job search scares the crap out of me. I have not done it successfully, one would argue, ever, since my current job came about from an internship. I'm a talented worker, which I do not doubt, but I am so not confident in how to present myself and get myself hired. Once I'm working for you, you won't regret it, but how can I make you believe it?

(And to think I'm a writer.)

Remember long ago when I was in a fellowship program and was mentored by the best director ever? She passed away a couple of years ago and I do not know the current director except through some emails. I emailed him for advice, though, because I am an alumnus and that has to be good for something. He critiqued my resume and gave me some tips. Boy, was that painful. It's amazing how we don't see things until someone else points them out. I always thought I had a good resume until he mentioned the fact that it is slightly hideous. (Okay, he didn't say that, but he didn't sugar coat either.)

Maybe the impossible will come true - I mean, we just elected a black president whose middle name is Hussein. Maybe the economy will perk right up, Boyfriend and I will find fabulous jobs and living arrangements in the city of our choice, and we will all live happily ever after. It could happen, right?

Further Updates

• Taught the other 7-year old to knit. She picked it up quickly as well, but got bored just as quickly and went to play Wii. I am a dying breed!!

  
  

• I had dinner the other night with three people I worked with in Venice two years ago, the Traveler and her beau, Boyfriend and a friend from Austin. We ate delightful Turkish food, reminisced, talked about American politics and laughed our asses off. Yay!

  
  

• I got to spend a bit of time with Boyfriend's aunt and cousins, one of whom loved my homemade scarf and tried to abscond with it until I promised to make her one. I also took the opportunity, on my way back to the bus, to pick up souvenirs for the teen girls I mentor back home.

  
  

• Thanksgiving dinner was fantastic. Yes, it was sad to think about the last time we made these dishes and brought them over to share with my father, but it was good to share them with each other again.

  
  

• I am cosmically destined to be told by people over 50 that I am heavier than Sister, as if I hadn't noticed. Always at functions where I would like to enjoy myself eating, and this time, by someone who is not even a family member (of mine)! I must have picked on fat people in a past life.

  
  

• I head home tonight. Not too sad because I will see my family again in a few weeks, and happy to have a weekend to decompress before returning to work.

I'm sitting here with a cup of comfort and reflecting on my visit home so far. Highlights include:

• My very first Greek wedding, which was freaking awesome.

  
  

• Teaching a 7-year old how to knit, and watching her do it successfully, to my amazement.

  
  

• Watching a 2-year old pick up a plastic ball-in-a-maze toy and say in an exasperated voice, "How do you play this?? There's no mouse!"

I think I am becoming addicted to coffee. I used to eat when I was depressed, hence the lifelong battle of the bulge. More recently, I haven't been doing that and the weight has been coming off slowly but effortlessly. I am starting to notice, however, that while I used to pick up a cookie for comfort, I am now picking up a cup of coffee. Has coffee become my cigarettes? My crack?

Tomorrow I leave sunny, beautiful Austin for cold, chilly New York, but I am excited. Boyfriend and I will be there for a week, attending High School Friend's wedding, meeting up with old friends, and spending Thanksgiving with my lovable yet dysfunctional family. It should be great.

There will be more blogging shortly. I have more to say but I am swamped with last minute work to do at the office before I bounce :)

Weekend Trip

I had a lovely 3-day weekend. On Friday Boyfriend had to travel overnight so I had Artsy Friend over. We ate dinner and watched "Gosford Park" and then we gawked over a giant craft book. Fun times.

Saturday he returned and then Sunday we took off for the Texas Hill Country. We spent several hours in a small rustic town on the river that still had its old general store and mill and all. It was super cute, and all we kept telling each other was, "We should take Bro here when he visits next month." After that we went a little further south, to the area where our bed and breakfast was. This was also supposed to be an historic district, with remnants of the German heritage of the people who settled it. Unfortunately, since it was Sunday everything was closed but the bars. German restaurants and bakeries, little shops... everything was totally shut down. So we wandered around the downtown area to no avail. We did walk by a (closed) train museum along the still active train tracks and we were able to take pictures because large trains are still visible, even when the museum is closed :)

We spent the night at the bed and breakfast. It was pretty cute itself, but it lost some of its charm considering that there was a Walgreens a few blocks away. We had expected it to be more in the, you know, hill country. The breakfast yesterday morning was also totally shitty. But overall, it was nice to get out of our apartment and see a new place.

Talks have resurfaced of spending some significant time in 2009 in Indonesia. This time we are in a better position to make it happen. And from Indonesia... can you say "Bali"?

You know that when we go I am hitting up some temples.


I am so excited I can hardly stand it.

I'm home, and I hope to stay away from aircraft for a while.

My trip to the country with the folks was just fantastic. I rode a moped, drove a paddleboat across the lake, went swimming, shopped at a local flea market, ate barbecue (northern barbecue = burgers, hot dogs, chicken, macaroni salad... not southern barbecue ;), sang Pink Floyd songs very loudly with my mother and aunt and got a lot of fresh air. I was almost sad to come back, especially because it was the least stressful family time I have spent in years and I miss the little ones already.

I did, however, miss Boyfriend, and was forced to spend our 3rd anniversary away from him. My mother bought a cake, a card and a gift and forced me to celebrate it out in the country, which was really thoughtful on her part.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

- ee cummings

Upon returning from the country, Mother took me to the cemetery. It was my first visit since the burial in April, and while I thought it would be emotional or difficult, it was neither. I felt like we were in a park. It didn't feel that there were actually people beneath our feet, let alone my father. We walked along the graves and looked at different stones and markers, trying to decide what we want for him. Some of them are beautiful, all of them are sad. A couple of people had double headstones but their spouse is still living, so one heart contains the name and dates of the deceased while the one next to it is still empty. Some widows and widowers even had their name and birth date chiseled in so that all they need is a death date and they are ready to go. Mother found that morbid. I just think it's realistic.

I have been thinking a lot about life and death lately, especially after talking to my family members about it. I will probably have more pensive posts forthcoming soon.

This past weekend has been one of the best vacations I have ever had with my family. Here are some memorable quotes:

Kid Sister #1, as we rolled up the car windows: "Why does New Jersey stink?"

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Kid Sister #2, as we discussed Sister's dislike towards me: "Everyone should like you because you're so pretty."

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Kid Sister #1, as I described that feminism is about believing that boys are not better than girls, but we are all the same: "Well... boys are a little dumber."

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Baby Sister, after stubbing her toe on the door: "Shit!"