I have been having odd thoughts lately. Not odd in and of themselves, but odd for me considering where I have been spiritually for the past, what, year? More?

Today I found out about a summer position that would knock my socks off. I will apply, but I am trying very hard not to get my hopes up, as I did with that other summer program I was rejected for. I am just trying to be calm and act like if it happens, it happens, and if not, that's okay too.

And I thought to myself, involuntarily, Everything happens for a reason. Maybe I got rejected from the other program so I could do this one. And if I don't get this one, there must be a reason for that, too. God causes everything to happen for a reason.

And then I thought, What did I just think?

Where did God come into it?

But that's what I thought.

This Lamott book is really doing something to me, I swear. I keep reading it and being a little envious of her, her attitudes and her lifestyle. She's a Christian, but she's liberal and cool and funky. She's not stuffy or uptight or judgmental like I normally believe most religious people to be. She weaves these amazing beliefs and ideas together and I think, I want to live like that. Without religion and without the absence of spirituality. A special niche in the world, in life, just for me. Is that possible?

Anne makes me think it is.