So I got to watch the Passion, and it didn't have the same effect on me as it had those other years, but I'm glad I watched it. This time, I was really interested in the development of Mary's character (which I think Mel took care to develop because he is Catholic). That part where she remembers picking Christ up as a child when he fell, and that is juxtaposed with her running to him when he fell beneath the cross... I remember that making me cry in past years. It is still my favorite part of the entire movie.
Sometimes I consider becoming Catholic just for things like that, because I like Mary a lot and stories of female saints and all that. But then I think that I can't because I don't believe in following the Pope and couldn't force myself to.
Anyway... I was disappointed that the experience was different because it had been the experience that I was craving, not the movie. I wasn't breaking out popcorn for this one; I wanted to be moved and to cry and to connect with Christ if he's real - but it's just that, it's that qualifier "if he's real" that fucked it all up for me, I'm sorry to say. But what can you do? People change, they grow, they fall in and out of beliefs and it is sad but inevitable for some. Some like me.