Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Lament

I have wanted to write about something for nearly a week, but I hesitated. First, I decided not to mention it at all in order to protect Boyfriend's privacy. Then, several days ago, he brought up some points surrounding what had occurred, and told me with a smile that he expected me to address these issues in my blog. (Cutie.) I still waited, however, because this has been a painful thing for me as well as for him (though not nearly in the same way), and I didn't feel ready to write about it yet.

Boyfriend's Uncle passed away last week. This was the reason for our earlier trip. Boyfriend's Uncle lives in the same city that I do, and if it weren't for Boyfriend staying at his house and interning at the company he works at last summer, the two of us might never have met. His passing was sudden and shocked Boyfriend's entire family.

When we found out, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to weep for this man even though I never met him. I had seen pictures and heard stories and been in his home. I thought about his wife and two daughters and what a good person he was (from the stories I had heard) and I just couldn't take it. But I decided that I needed to be strong for Boyfriend, so I tried to keep these things in as much as I could.

He was telling me the other night that members of his family noted that in the past year, his uncle had gotten to do a lot of things he had wanted to do. They seemed to view that as the culmination of his life, and then decided that God had taken him for greater work now. Boyfriend asked, "Greater work? He has a wife and two kids." He also said that of all the people he knew, his uncle was always helping anyone he could, and there was just no reason why he would deserve to be taken so soon. Which made me think about God and life and death, naturally.

What do I think about what he said, what his family said? I'm not entirely sure, to tell you the truth. I'm not positive that I have a belief in an involved, personal God anymore. When I think about the concept, I am neither convinced of Its existence nor Its absence. I just don't know. If there is a God and I could ask It some questions, I would want to know why we are put on this earth, without asking to be, and then have to suffer so much, and are completely vulnerable to fate, nature, other people, and our own bodies. Then I would ask just how I am supposed to believe It cares for us when It allows this to go on. Boyfriend speculated that if there is a God, It is most likely incapable of multitasking, and it lets people slip through the cracks without noticing.

3 comments:

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Good thoughts for you and Boyfriend and Boyfriend's family.

fp said...

Part 1 of 2

take a look at the encyclical, it’s definitely worth it, it might help with where you're at right now

my thoughts and prayers are with all you guys, trust in Jesus and pray also.
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From Deus Caritas Est, the first encyclical of H.H. Pope Benedict XVI :

“God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 Jn 4:16). These words from the First Letter of John express with remarkable clarity the heart of the Christian faith: the Christian image of God and the resulting image of mankind and its destiny. In the same verse, Saint John also offers a kind of summary of the Christian life: “We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us”.
“We have come to believe in God's love: in these words the Christian can express the fundamental decision of his life. Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction. Saint John's Gospel describes that event in these words: “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should ... have eternal life” (3:16). In acknowledging the centrality of love, Christian faith has retained the core of Israel's faith, while at the same time giving it new depth and breadth. The pious Jew prayed daily the words of the Book of Deuteronomy which expressed the heart of his existence: “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord, and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might” (6:4-5). Jesus united into a single precept this commandment of love for God and the commandment of love for neighbour found in the Book of Leviticus: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself” (19:18; cf. Mk 12:29-31). Since God has first loved us (cf. 1 Jn 4:10), love is now no longer a mere “command”; it is the response to the gift of love with which God draws near to us.”

“The saints—consider the example of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta—constantly renewed their capacity for love of neighbor from their encounter with the Eucharistic Lord, and conversely this encounter acquired its real- ism and depth in their service to others. Love of God and love of neighbor are thus inseparable, they form a single commandment. But both live from the love of God who has loved us first. No longer is it a question, then, of a “commandment” imposed from without and calling for the impossible, but rather of a freely-bestowed experience of love from within, a love which by its very nature must then be shared with others. Love grows through love. Love is “divine” because it comes from God and unites us to God; through this unifying process it makes us a “we” which transcends our divisions and makes us one, until in the end God is “all in all” (1 Cor 15:28).”

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20051225_deus-caritas-est_en.html

fp said...

Part 2 of 2 (lol i got alot of spare time at work in the computer labs )

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"I. The life of man - to know and love God

1 God, infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man to make him share in his own blessed life. For this reason, at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son as Redeemer and Saviour. In his Son and through him, he invites men to become, in the Holy Spirit, his adopted children and thus heirs of his blessed life."
--- Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC)

"68 By love, God has revealed himself and given himself to man. He has thus provided the definitive, superabundant answer to the questions that man asks himself about the meaning and purpose of his life." -(CCC)

"73 God has revealed himself fully by sending his own Son, in whom he has established his covenant for ever. The Son is his Father's definitive Word; so there will be no further Revelation after him." -(CCC)
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"In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him.
In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another.
No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us.
This is how we know that we remain in him and he in us, that he has given us of his Spirit.
Moreover, we have seen and testify that the Father sent his Son as savior of the world.
Whoever acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God remains in him and he in God.
We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him." 1 Jn. 4:9-16

---http://www.vatican.va/archive/index.htm
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Also remember the story of Job:
"We accept good things from God; and should we not accept evil?" Through all this, Job said nothing sinful" Job 2:10
http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0839/_INDEX.HTM
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my thoughts and prayers are with all you guys, trust in Jesus and pray also.