Danny Tanner was not gay

Last night was the Bob Saget show. Crazy stuff, man! It was in a very nice theatre downtown, and before the show, Boyfriend and I were standing around having a drink. (They weren't letting anyone take their seats just yet.) Just then I hear someone say, "Look who's here!" and realize they're talking to me. I look up to see Friend From Work and his wife. It was a surprise; I never expect to bump into anyone in Austin because I only have like two friends.

Anyway, the opening comic was a local guy, but he was pretty funny. Not bad. Then there was an intermission and afterwards, Bob came out. I didn't know what to expect. I knew it would be dirty - the guy is desperate to rid himself of the t.v. dad persona and goes to great lengths to accomplish this - but not much about his standup style. Some of it was very funny. Other parts were not so much, but we were laughing because it was like, "Did he really just say that?" The only thing I didn't find funny at all were his jokes about sleeping with his daughters' underage friends. I can take a dirty joke, no biggie, but some things should just be off limits. I'm sure he's not a child molester - wouldn't go around flaunting it if he was - and it was just for shock value, but I don't think that's a funny topic at all. I'm sure that anyone in the audience who has been sexually abused as a child would agree.

Anyway, some of my favorite moments:

- He's speaking to someone in the audience and asks, "Did you grow up watching Full House?" The guy says yes and Bob snickers: "Fag." Then Bob asks him what his favorite episode is. After he answers, Bob says, "Ask me what my favorite episode is.... THE LAST ONE. I mean, come on, three straight guys raising three girls together in San Francisco? Would never happen."

- He tells a story about he and John Stamos being in a bar together and freaking out a 17-year old kid in the bathroom by talking about Becky and Nicky and Alex and DJ and all them as if they were real, calling each other Jesse and Danny at the urinals. The kid was pissing all over himself, thinking, "Full House is REAL!"

- He constantly refers to "that fucking bitch Kimmy Gibler."

- He tells the audience that Joey/Dave Coulier shaves his balls. He tells us to tell all our friends.

- He tells us about America's funniest home videos that they received but could never play on the show.

- He ends the show by singing a song he wrote with the help of "the best composers of our time, the Backstreet Boys." The song is called "Danny Tanner Is Not Gay" and it is to the tune of "I Want It That Way."