Once upon a time there was a man who had a lovely blond child named Cinderella. Unfortunately, her mother passed away, and the man eventually remarried a woman with two daughters around Cinderella’s age. When the father died of an untimely death, Cinderella was left to live with her stepmother and stepsisters, none of whom she was particularly fond of. She took to referring to them as her ‘wicked’ stepmother and sisters and scorned them mercilessly.
Cinderella’s stepmother Mildred was a woman of humble origins and meager looks, but one with a large heart, for which Cinderella’s father had fallen in love with her. Her daughters were likewise plain and a bit pudgy from their love of good food and companionship – kind of like Hobbits, only taller – but they were kind, loving girls. They did their best to be good to Cinderella, a primadonna who felt superior because of her size 0 figure and her flowing blond locks, but no matter how hard they tried, she treated them like dirt. “Why don’t you spend some time with your sisters, Cinderella?” Mildred would ask. The sisters would raise their heads to see what Cinderella’s response would be, but would feel no shock when she narrowed her eyes and said, “Those fatties are not my sisters. No thanks.”
When the royal family announced a ball that was to be held for the express purpose of finding a bride for the young, handsome prince, the sisters became excited. "Maybe one of us will marry a prince!” they exclaimed. Cinderella snorted. “It’s not likely he’ll pick one of you two when there are ladies in the kingdom who are actually good-looking… namely, me.” The sisters ran to their room and cried until Mildred could stand it no longer. “Cinderella, I have had quite enough of your narcissism and cruelty! The only way you’re going to the ball is if you clean the entire house from top to bottom, make yourself a dress and find your own method of transportation, because I’ll be damned if I allow you to walk all over us any longer!”
Cinderella was far too lazy and self-centered to do what her stepmother commanded, so she stayed home that night and dreamt up a fantasy about outwitting her wicked stepmother and sisters and having a fairy tale wedding to the prince, who would naturally be repulsed by them as well. She told this story to her close friend, Jacob Grimm, who immortalized it and her by writing it down with one of his brothers.