I recently had a chat with other college students and recent grads at my company. One of them said, "Have you ever dreamed that you were ready to graduate but turned up one credit short?" It turns out we have all had such nightmares. I told them that I have a recurring dream where I am ready to graduate but realize I have not attended one of my classes all semester, and it is too late to make up the work. Another one I have is that I have to take an exam in the class, but since I never attended I am really screwed. I am a big slacker in my dreams.

Anyway, I just had one like that, where I realized that I never attended my science class. I was pretty miffed because I thought I had the degree in hand, but I was going to have to take another class!

I am glad to find that this was only a dream :P

Hello friends, I'm your Vitameatavegamin girl...

Random thoughts:

• I need to have an I Love Lucy marathon. I put Season 1 on hold at the library years ago and now that it is finally my turn I am going out of town.
  
  
  
  
• Stomach is still queasy all the time so I went back to the doctor. They don't know what the hell is wrong with me. This is not helpful.
  
  
• I received a letter in the mail that the university is no longer denying my graduation. Diploma will be forthcoming. I cannot tell you how relieved I am.
  
  
• I am making good progress with my 101 list!

All of the graduates in their slick gowns and honor ribbons walking around campus are getting me down.

To be fair, I can fly back and go to my own ceremony, which is in about a week and a half. I have no desire to, though. I barely know anyone there anymore and it might be depressing, considering how much my father would have liked to see this. So fuck it.

It doesn't keep me from feeling like a bit of a loser, though.

Things That Make Me Happy: Three Little Words

(Summa Cum Laude.)

I am kind of a pathetic person because I took the day off today and even though I went to the doctor and took a final exam, it still totally rocked. I didn't go to work! (It takes little to make me happy.)

I would like to inform you all that today's exam was my very last one. I am technically now a graduate with a bachelor's degree, though I will have to wait until credit transfers and probably May 2008 to fully come into the title.


NO MORE PENCILS, NO MORE BOOKS, NO MORE TEACHERS' DIRTY LOOKS!

I am celebrating my accomplishment with a can of seltzer and a raspberry coconut tart. Mmmmmm.

I tend to get premonitions about things. Not always, and not about important things that actually matter, but often enough for me to notice. I don't understand, however, why I never listen to them. If I know I get them and they tend to be right, why do I not listen? Like today I was supposed to go to lunch with Friend From Work #2, and I thought this morning, "I should bring a back-up lunch in case it falls through," but I didn't. And she can't make it. We've rescheduled, which is cool, but I don't have lunch. Hmm.

Yesterday I took my Shakespeare final and I was so pleased with myself that I spent the night doing nothing but relax, even though I had other studying to do. I watched "Room Service," the Marx Bros. movie, that I took out of the library. God, that was what I needed - a few giggles.


Okay, so we've got these new disposable coffee cups in the office that are thin, slim, pretty and fuzzy instead of the white styrofoam boring ones, but these new ones hold 16 ounces so when I feel like I'm having one cup of coffee, I am actually having two. The other day I inadvertently had four (cups of coffee, not sixteen ounce servings) and my hands started shaking.

That said, I just finished one sixteen ounce (or two cups of coffee) and am wanting more. Resist ... the ... temptation ....

I bought a pair of beautiful grey slacks for work on Friday. They fit well and look good. I'm happy. I'm always happy when I find beautiful clothing for big girls.

I had such a lovely weekend with Boyfriend ... big surprise, I always do, but this one was really lovely because we got out of the apartment a lot. We went on a long walk and sat at a beloved outdoor coffee shop on the lake and ate at a new restaurant we had never eaten at before (with a Hawaiian theme and tikis everywhere). Fun fun.

Now it is Monday and I have two tests this week and two next. Yeesh!

Tonight is a poetry reading with Artsy Friend. God grant me courage.

Deep Thoughts... by Sojourness Handey

- I have had a Jennifer Lopez song stuck in my head all morning since I heard it at 7-11 this morning as I used the ATM machine. I am not happy.

- I found out today that a woman I worked for in Italy passed away. 37 years old -- cancer. She was kind of mean to the interns but geez... that is young to die. I am still very surprised, and a little frightened.

- To go home for Thanksgiving or not to go home for Thanksgiving? That is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous plane fares, or to take arms against a sea of homesick emotions, and by opposing, end them.

- Which reminds me, I gotta take that damn Shakespeare final.

- I'm going to see a production of Death of a Salesman tonight! Arthur Miller -- my post mortem playwright crush! (Well, one of them.)

I feel like I'm drowning in work. The two-week long dry socket has really screwed up my schedule and I am behind on all of my classes. Not to mention my housework. Normally, Boyfriend and I split all the household chores, with him occasionally doing more than me. Lately, I have been out of commission and I need to get back... in? I don't know how to phrase that, but my kitchen floor is yucky. Forget that, my kitchen is yucky.

Another reason for cleaning up the place is that Best Friend is visiting next week! I am so excited! No one has ever visited me here before except for Sister. She is here for about five days. It will be fun. A break from soliciting strange women online to be my friend.

(I'm just kidding; I haven't met anyone strange. Yet.)

I found out today that I do have a dry socket. I knew it... when I read that a dry socket causes the worst pain imaginable, I knew that's what I have. I went back to the surgeon yesterday and he said maybe it was a muscle thing, since everything looked good. I went back today in desperation: "Please, help me!!" He decided to "go inside" and see what was up. Great.

Well, he found some knot of tissue that was covering my dry socket, which was why he didn't see it. Is that normal? No. Of course not. He took it out and now I've gotta... you know what? I don't remember.

I'm tired and drugged.

I also have to go back to the surgeon on Friday, then take a final that afternoon, and lose pay for practically the whole day.

Does someone want to kill me now?

I can't stop biting my nails even though it hurts my teeth to do so. Is this some kind of disorder?

Looking forward to after work noshing with CL Friend. I need some relaxing girl time because I've had a hellish week, what with having something ripped from my gums by the roots and all.

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel with my Shakespeare class but I am going to have to haul ass this weekend and next week. I need to do well on that final *winces*

I just went out on my lunch break and bought myself a pretty little brown leather journal for my poetry, just because.

I have had a rough ass week. They gave me an injection for my strep throat which led to my left leg being numb for several days. (When does that happen??) They hit a nerve or something; incompetent bastards. I am hoping it will go away because I can't do another minute in that hell-hole, I mean, emergency room.

I am back at work today. Nearly finished with antibiotics but they make me nauseous and there's the, uh, numb leg thing, so I was kinda worried about coming back. But I feel good having work to do and being at my desk with my coffee (not my healthy latte, but my coffee). I hope that will last throughout the day.

What else, what else... not much actually. I lined up some freelance gigs, which is good, but have to balance them with finishing my damn classes, which is not so good. Some good news, though, is that someone at my school is lobbying with the dean for me to get me internship credit for writing this damn book. If it works out, that will take care of the last class I need and I can finally graduate!!

Things I want to accomplish this weekend:

• Write essay
• Revise review
• Write article
• Drink wine
• Watch a movie
• Go swimming
• Go out to dinner
• Exercise (most likely in the form of Dance Dance Revolution)
• Forget the fact that my book clubbers have deserted me for the last time, dammit

How much of that will actually happen remains to be seen, but it's good to have goals.

Brother is the best. We were discussing how my Bard paper has to be based on some controversial argument, which made us brainstorm possible theses in our afternoon, desk-job delirium:

--

Shakespeare was a closet communist.

Shakespeare was a Hare Krishna.

Shakespeare was a hack that blew goats.

A Midsummer Night's Dream is a metaphor for oral sex.

Men played women's parts because Shakespeare was a closet transexual hermaphrodite.

--

I feel like I'm in high school again, and it is goooood ;)

Note: The dirty ones were Brother's ideas. I swear.

Friday again! Thank the Goddess that they come so quickly. Sweet drops of mercy on my head.

Tonight I have meditation. I haven't gone since last Wednesday's class and I can feel myself slipping a little. It will be nice to go and refresh, recharge, or whatever it is I do.

Boyfriend is the best ever!! He found us an apartment in our current complex on the very same floor. In other words, he saved our lives, and we don't have to have another strenuous move. I am very happy.

Next Friday is our two-year anniversary and I have figured out THE most perfect present in the entire world. I'd tell you but he reads this blog. I'm so excited!! Going to pick it up tomorrow.

So I've got Shakespeare coming out the ass... read four plays in like two weeks. I've been getting 100's on the assignments, but my professor told me yesterday I have to rewrite my paper. I guess it wasn't what she was looking for; she told me to make her see the play in a new way. I got all flustered and upset and boomed at Boyfriend, "I'M SUPPOSED TO COME UP WITH NEW REVELATIONS ABOUT SHAKESPEARE??" (Yes, I went a little crazy.) Today is better, she emailed me with more specific feedback and I am less psychotic. Let's just see what grade I come back with, though.