Sunday, October 23, 2005

Tomorrow Never Knows

Buon giorno tutti. I just came in from a Sunday morning run. No, really, I did. Probably not the smartest idea since: a) it's cold outside, b) I ran by the water, which means it was even colder, and c) I'm not a good runner. But, it was one of those days when you want to do something vigorous, and crunches or walking is just not enough. So, the Flat Foot Wonder ran, jogged, and walked in the company of seagulls.

Today is the day to really start the Diet/Nutrition/Exercise thing. Really, I'm serious this time. Stop looking at me like that. Updates to come.

I was reading an article this morning about college graduates taking time off before grad school/careers (this one). This came at an interesting time since I have been researching grad school programs lately. I wonder if I should take time off before going. The heads of my fellowship program encourage us to do that, actually. The thing is, what would I do? I have worked in community development and educational publishing, but I don't think either is for me. I really dig the academia thing. At the same time, however, school-upon-school- upon-school seems daunting, and I'm not entirely positive about what I want to focus on. I'm fairly serious about American literature, but I would like to be 1000% sure before I lock into a graduate degree.

I was also thinking about my family attachments and their bearing on my future plans. Best Friend is leaving soon for Argentina. She and her older sister are going to live there for about three months, but if they like it, they might stay longer. Can you imagine just picking up and leaving like that? People my age do it all the time. They do it for college and they do it afterwards. I have spoken to former fellows and students who joined the Peace Corps, got prestigious scholarships/fellowships, or just left to do whatever they wanted. I can't imagine leaving my family for an extended period of time. They need me. I'm not saying that in a megalomaniacal way... obviously they would survive if I was to leave. My being here makes it easier for them, though.

Some days I dream about just picking up and going somewhere for a semester, or working in another city after I graduate, but I feel guilty entertaining those notions. Sometimes I envy people who are able to just go. But is that what I really want to do? Would I be happy if I did it, or would I miss them terribly? Maybe both. Who knows. I am supposed to work overseas for two months this summer, so I guess I will have the opportunity to find out.



Yer not fat, cut this diet/exercise bull already.

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Speaking as a person who just went after was emotionally hellish, but I learned more than I can possibly tell you about myself. I feel much more comfortable in my own skin, and it put a new fire in me for the grad degree.

I'm sure you'll do the right thing for you.