- Our company has a scholarship program. There is a website for said scholarship. Why do people keep emailing me asking how to apply? The only way they have the email address is through the scholarship page, which lays out how to apply. New rule: if you can't read or follow instructions, you do not deserve money to help you continue wasting the time and energy of your professors.
- People who apply for a scholarship without having run a spell check on their papers or given it to another individual to at least look at. Hey everyone, free money over here! You don't even have to work for it, we will take your crappy left over Comp I papers.
- Childhood friends who don't talk to you for four years and then apologize for it by saying, "I was really busy and then I was afraid you were angry that I hadn't talked to you so I continued not to talk to you." The only reason they are talking to you now is because they ran into your sister and feel guilty that your father died.
Interestingly enough, they found plenty of time to remain in contact with your thinner, prettier, more popular friend, whom they haven't known for nearly as long and only know through you. I guess some of us never left high school.
I need some goddamn coffee, and maybe a chill pill.