Hello my lovelies. I have neglected you for no good reason. Here's the update:

• I've got some sort of "condition" in my chest that is supposed to go away in 7-10 days but is really being a bitch in the meantime. (No, it's not my heart, but it's still a bitch.)
  
  
• As I told my mother, I voted for the Antichrist yesterday. And boy, did it feel good! :)
  
  
• I have to go shopping tonight to try and find an outfit for High School Friend's wedding in late November. Did I mention I hate shopping? With a passion?
  
  
• Swamped at work. Hence the not posting.

Things That Make Me Happy: Breast Cancer Fundraising Popcorn Balls Shaped Like Breasts

I Decided on the Perfect Halloween Costume:

Someone Needs to Re-Read Their Bible Alright

You know what might liven up this blog a bit? How about a good old fashioned rant on the ever-sensitive, ever-relevant subjects of politics and religion?

When my father died, it was announced to members of the church where he served faithfully for years and which I grew up in. My parents left the church saddled with serious burnout, after being expected to drive the church van and pick up people all over Brooklyn, teach Sunday school classes, host prayer meetings at our home during the week, coordinate various ministry events, etc. (all of which they did, gladly). When they left, all of their best friends stopped bothering with them, calling them backsliders. They no longer got any phone calls, they were no longer invited to parties. It was as if they had died.

Anyway, some of these church members came to my father's funeral, and some of them remembered me from my brief stint there as a teen in the youth group. Long story short, they added me on Facebook.

Yesterday such a friend - who had always been very kind to me when I was at the church, but whom I hadn't been in touch with for about 7 years now - posted a note: "Why Christians Should NOT Vote for Obama." The note, which tagged others I recognized from the church, including a couple of Former Pastor's grown children, excerpted parts of Former Pastor's (who now fancies himself a "Bishop" though it is a nondenominational church that doesn't believe in those titles) article on the subject. Though it reminded me of 2000, the year I received handouts in church endorsing all of the Republicans on the ticket, I continued to read. Big mistake.

Essentially, "no child of God should support abortion or gay union," and Obama does both. Therefore, this guy urges conservatives to try to carry this election like they did with GW (because that worked out so well, for Christians or otherwise?). Comments from Facebook friends tagged in the note included, "Yes, bring on the antichrist! That should shake up the church." There was also a comment from a Christian friend who disagreed, stating that he would be voting for Obama because of his intelligence, his unifying message, etc. McCain is not exactly the model Christian (as Boyfriend mentioned, he did cheat on his second wife, no?). To which, my "friend" who wrote the note published nasty retorts, ending with, "You need to read your Bible."

Goodness me, where do I begin? Conservative friends and readers of my blog, look away, because this ain't going to be pretty.

• When is the religious right going to stop voting primarily on abortion and gay marriage? Do you realize our country is falling down around us? Do you realize what our national debt is, for example? Do you realize how many enemies we have made around the world because of our foolish arrogance? Do you have any concept of the challenges we are facing, aside from whether or not someone you don't even know will or will not give birth to a baby she cannot afford, or whether or not Bob can make Tony an honest man? Really? Not paying much attention lately, are you?

• Why is it that so many Christians - the people who are supposed to represent a loving, peaceful and forgiving religion? - are gung-ho about war and killing non-Christians? I feel like I'm in the middle of a Neo-Crusade. We view fanatical Muslims as less than human but fanatical Christians are A-OK. If there is a Jesus Christ, I hope he will hold them all accountable for the atrocities they supported and the people they elected into office. Save the unborn fetuses while murdering and raping children in Iraq, good tradeoff. But they're not white or Christian, so they're not like real people anyway.

• I am going to take advice from "Bishop" so-and-so? The man who refused to visit, call or pray for a former friend who was paralyzed for over 3 years? Who waited until the man dropped dead to show any kind of concern (and oh, how genuine - he didn't speak of my father at all, only about his personal Jesus, the one that is sending all of you to hell). This is the guy who is going to influence my voting preference? Really? Jesus said a few things about visiting the sick and that whatever good you do for other people, you do for him. That means that when you tell a broken, suffering man that you are too busy to pray for him, Jesus takes it personally. I can't wait until the "Bishop" gets to heaven and Jesus laughs in his face before showing him the door.

• Republicans, you don't own Christianity. Stop acting like one's personal faith and one's political party are one and the same. There are plenty of Christians out there who don't judge, who don't want to bomb people of other religions, and who don't want to see us all bankrupt while the fat cats add to their Mercedes collections. Try Anne Lamott, for starters.

• I've said it once and I will say it again, Jesus Christ was one hell of a liberal, and if I have any feeling left for him inside, it is for that - for his compassion for people that others discarded, for his feeding of the poor and disregard for racist/sexist bullshit. To steal a phrase, what would Jesus do? I highly doubt he'd have the blood on his hands that America does today.

You may wonder why I don't blog nearly as often as I used to. The short answer is, my life is boring. Not in a "poor me, I don't have anything fun to do" way. It's boring in a "this is the first time in my life with little drama, where I can be as boring as I wanna be, yay!" way. Whenever I sit down to write a blog post, I realize that nothing I have done in the past few days or hours would interest anyone. I knit. I go to the library. I write. I call home. I go to work. I drink coffee. I eat things that are good for me. I eat things that aren't good for me. I see friends. I read in bed. I try to prevent my geriatric cat from crapping all over my apartment. Not exactly the stuff of action films or Harlequin romances, is it?

I recall starting this blog because I had so much to say about the world. I had opinions and questions on everything from religion to philosophy to culture. I still have opinions and questions - though definitely not the same ones I had three years ago - but I have been fortunate enough to find a platform through my writing. (You know, my real writing, with my real name, as opposed to my anonymous chicken-shit blogging.) There are still some areas I will not touch in my real writing (such as how much I hate my job sometimes?), which means there is still a beautiful space for me here in Neverland.

I dunno, sometimes I wonder what it's worth.

A slight chill has actually come to Texas, and I woke up cold this morning because our fan was on very high. I also woke up about a half hour early because Miss Cat was hungry. She proceeded to walk all over us and meow in our faces. I would have been annoyed if she wasn't so cute.

It's one of those gray, chilly days where all I want to do is go home after work, get into pajamas and lie in bed with my cat while I knit or read or do whatever it is I feel like doing. In fact, I think I will.

Last night Boyfriend and I went to a cajun restaurant. I got Jamaican Jerk chicken that just tasted like regular grilled chicken. It was good, but I had been expecting some seasoning. The fries were "cajun-style" though, and we had beignets for dessert. I had been describing zeppoles to Friend From Work about a week ago when he said, "No, I've never had them, but they sound like beignets." When I saw them on the menu I knew we had to try them. They don't hold a candle to zeppoles. Zeppoles are fat and doughy -- they are essentially deep fried doughnuts dipped in powdered sugar. The beignets I had last night had the exact same taste, but they were thin and empty on the inside, nothing to bite into and savor. Sorry, New Orleans.

I'm in the midst of a Beatles listen-a-thon that is a total throwback to my teen years. I can just see 16-year-old me walking to school with a cheap discman hanging out of a backpack pocket, bobbing my head.


Wait till I come back to your side, we'll forget the tears we've cried...


Best Friend and I sprawled on my living room couch after school, watching the Anthology DVDs, or occasionally "Yellow Submarine."


You know that what you eat you are, but what is sweet now turns so sour...


Telling her that "In My Life" is going to be the song I play at my wedding. Someday.


Some are dead and some are living... In my life, I've loved them all...


17 years old. Sitting on a swing at the local park in the dark of night. Crying my eyes out that George Harrison is dead, and he is never coming back. And why? And how can I ever watch "A Hard Day's Night" again?


With every mistake we must surely be learning...
Still my guitar gently weeps...


Yesterday Therapist told me that I am wrong. It does get easier. It takes a long time, but you do accept it. It really will be okay.


Though I know I'll never lose affection
for people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them...
In my life, I love you more.

Not much to say about the last week. I have been alternately working on writing projects and trying to take it easy. It is rainy and gray in Austin, which is actually a nice change from the heat but does a lot to sap one's energy and spirits. I would much prefer being home in my pajamas on a rainy day than in the office, doing work that does not inspire.

Yesterday I got called into a private meeting with Boss and HR Lady. Apparently my company got a slap on the wrist for our 401k plan being too "top-heavy" (i.e. only high earners invest) so they are being forced to incentivize the rest of us who make peanuts. I'm essentially getting several hundred dollars for free - it's like a bonus, only I have to take it in my 401k. I haven't had a 401k up to this point but was thinking about it. I decided to wait until now because I had heard rumors of free money for anyone not yet on the plan. I'm not thrilled about starting one, especially after seeing the chart on the Traveler's blog, but I'm young and won't be withdrawing anytime soon.

Tell me the truth...

Is it sad that I live for Waffle Cone Wednesdays?

If you recall, I wrote about trying to start the Potatoes Not Prozac (PnP) program a while back. I tried to do too much too fast and cut out white things and sugars entirely, making myself weak and inducing withdrawal symptoms. Bad idea. Now I am actually being *gulp* obedient and following the steps in order, determined to master each one before I move on to the next. The first regards breakfast, and there are three rules: have breakfast within 1 hour of getting up, have your target amount of protein in it, and have a brown in it. The first one is challenging but I have managed to do it. The second is REALLY challenging because this program wants you to have a ton of protein. I finally mastered that by making breakfast shakes with protein powder in them. Finally, the brown is easy - wheat toast, oatmeal in my shake, whatever. So it's going pretty well.

Oh, the perilous times we live in. It is getting scary to be an American, let me tell you. If there was a ever a time to vote your little heart out, it's now.

Bro just spent the weekend with us, which was nice. We visited a prehistoric cave, went swimming, ate at some of my favorite places, played pool and went bowling with CL Friend and her husband. Oh, and we watched a couple of episodes from his DVD collection of Super Mario! Wow, did that take me back...

I am going to try to make this post as un-bitter as possible. Bear with me.

Allow me to list some of the things that made the last two days the shittiest I've had in a while.

1. I pissed off Cat. I didn't mean to. Long story short, I accused her of peeing on the carpet when she didn't (should have smelled that spot before jumping to conclusions). I didn't yell, I wasn't even mean, I just said, "Cat, no. Don't do this. No." When I found out what the spill really was, I felt terrible, but the damage had been done. I tried petting and brushing her to get back on her good side and she took a swipe at me and hissed. She wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night. Anytime I spoke to her or threw her kisses, she turned her face the other way. Yesterday she was asking me for food and I was like, "Yay! I'm forgiven!" I danced into the kitchen to give her food and accidentally stepped on her tail. Yeah.
   
   
2. My car is still overheating and making terrible noises. I've had two mechanics look at it. One of them said I might want to consider just getting a new car, because there are some other looming problems on the horizon. That would be a great suggestion if I had money laying around to get a new car. Today I am working from home because the cheaper of the two is replacing the water pump. I'm crossing all body parts and praying that will be the only problem and I can drive the bitch home already. Yes, I called her a bitch. She is certainly acting like one lately.
   
   
3. I had a 1.5 hour dentist appointment yesterday morning at 7:40. Note to self: Don't make dentist appointments that early.
   
   
4. Not enough sleep lately. Kinda need it to deal with this other stuff.