i'm taking a sick day today, as in a i-will-have-a-nervous-breakdown-soon-and-it-has-
translated-into-physical-sickness day.

i went a little nutso yesterday. i had a full morning of hiking across highways on foot in order to get to work in austin, texas, where you must have a car, but mine is back home. after my own little version of 'survivor,' i trekked back to campus and had my brit lit class.

i should preface this with saying that i don't like the people in my class. you can just tell when you're in one of those kind of classes. well, i'm in one of those. i have made acquaintances, if not friends, in my other classes, but these people are not that kind. so, whatever. i read, i go, i listen to the lecture, it's cool.

i could only get my hands on the last edition of our book without burning a terrible hole into my wallet, and since my professor said i could probably get by with that, i've been using it. yesterday after class i spoke with her, and she told me two things:

1 - my paper topic is shit and i have to change it
2 - i will be royally screwed on the test unless i meet up with another student who has the right book

now, she said it much nicer, naturally, but i was feeling pretty bad about myself regarding #1 - if there's anything i can do, it's english - and was worried about #2 because i know how these folks are. i got home feeling yucky and angry and overwhelmed. the test is tomorrow.

i emailed everyone in my class and said "hey, i know some of you need the notes, i will let you see mine AND buy you a cup of coffee if you'll just meet up with me briefly and let me see your book." there are like 30 fucking people in that class and no one answered. bastardi.

no one wants the notes they've missed? no one drinks coffee? no one will do another classmate a favor?

last night boyfriend and i had a great night of reading magazines at the library and eating dinner out together. but when we got home i was still feeling so overwhelmed. and some bad dreams and thoughts about my dad didn't help matters.

so this morning, i got up, showered, dressed, and couldn't make it to class. i felt an enormous wave of nausea sweep over me. i'm in bed. i feel less nauseous but don't feel like i can sit up or go anywhere. will probably have to miss stephanie klein's reading today.