sunday plans = rained out. boyfriend was going to forgo his football viewing and we were going to go out and spend the day together, but mother nature decided not to let that happen. so he is upstairs again and i am down here with all my homework.

damn you, mother nature.

anyway, whatever, it's not that bad. i probably would have neglected some work had we gone out. and at least i can use my alone time to play christian music and feel like it's actually sunday.

i make it sound like he's some controlling boyfriend who doesn't want me playing christian music. that is so not the case. i guess i just get a little embarrassed, especially since he doesn't understand what it means to me. i mean, he recognizes that it means something to me, but not in what manner. how could he, anyway?

i remember, as a teenager, i was really into the faith while my parents were what the church considers "backsliders." they encouraged me to be faithful, naturally, but i still felt a little out of place. whenever my parents would come into the room, i would lower my christian music. one day, my dad said to me, "you know, you don't have to lower it. i love christian music. i used to listen to it all the time."

i miss my dad. the man i see now is not my dad. that's a mean thing to say, isn't it? it just feels true.

i put all these pictures of my family up in frames on the wall of our apartment, but i don't have a single photo of my father from before his accident. i have some back home, in my bedroom. i am going to ask mother or sister to mail them to me.